Its the end of the Year!

I logged on to the blog today and was shocked to see that the last time I posted was over 10 days ago! Wow! Where did the time go?

Well, the lead up to Christmas was good. I had some sweet moments of time with family and friends. The Wednesday before Christmas was a little adventure. We went to stay in the guest villa we have here in Green Valley. it is the neighborhood where our friends live also. So we were all able to just shuffle around to each other's villas and share the Christmas spirit which for me is about community, family, and intimate gatherings. Then I had visitors from the East! No, not the three wise men.....but three inspired women with Reiki hands. Hira Reid, Jean Ferris, and Sister Carol came to visit....ladened with food for two yummy dinners. They brought their years of experience, insightfulness of long time health practitioners, and their individual gifts! And so for two days I was under their hands! it was an experience that comes in through the foundation of all the distant treatments that I receive daily. The energy was intense!

The result is that I am feeling the chemo therapy in my body..more strongly. I think that at this point, it is good. It doesn't feel "good" but I also realized that there was a part of me denying the process. So now the pot has been stirred and the chemo is up and doing its thing.....and I am surrendering to the fire.

One of the highlights of their visit was my deepening awareness of the lymph system of our bodies. And mine, in particular. I realize that it was almost as an after thought that the issues with my lymph system were introduced to me. I am conscious of the importance of every system of my body but this system I have really taken for granted. I am grateful for the continuing education!

New Year's Eve is coming up and I will record a program for this special night on the internet radio program .....reikitalkshow,com. This year New Year's Eve is the full moon and a Blue Moon....the second in December. I am sure that there are astrological portends! For me, it is another opportunity for me to open yet again...to a deeper connection to the moon in me, to the cycles of life, and to my natural awareness as a human being. I would like to disregard the more social aspects of this turning of the wheel and come back to my basic human need to be alive and to live in gratitude.

In these weeks of December and January, there are many days of ending and therefore days of vulnerability and beginning. I feel the fearsome aspects of this time as well as the promise of movement deep within me.

Part of the 23rd Psalm comes to me almost daily as I receive Reiki Treatments......and there is an image which is not a picture but a feeling within me that is so accurately described in these words from my Bible......
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil,
For thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.
Thou anointist my head with oil, my cup runneth over
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. "

My feeling image:
I surrender my body to the treatments that allow me to die: my physical cells, my habits, my ideas of myself, my attachments.
This is not an evil thing....not a bad thing......not a negative thing.
I know that there must be a passage through the shadow.....and it is good not to run and hide my face from the shadow but to walk with the strength of knowing there is support and comfort.
You and many others are with me in thought, in Reiki, in prayer, in physical form......and you are carried by your faith, your trust in spirit, your experiences in Reiki, your belief in the great cycles of life.
We sit and eat, literally, knowing that there is the presence of death that encourages authentic action and conversation.
You act with kindness and affection which flows over me and fills my body over and over
And with this connection of us to the One, to God, to the Goddess, to All that Is.....I am reminded that this is my Life now and forever.

Am I replacing God with you and the Reiki community? I would say no. What I am saying is that we are all a manifestation of the One......God. And it is our connection through our practice.....as I am receiving it......that allows me to open again and again to the healing of the fire and of love.

Whatever words I use...it is my experience. And I find that there are few words to express the bliss of this connection.

Until next week! Phyllis

Reflections to the Future

Susan Mitchell has been writing a history of the Reiki Alliance for the membership. It is an amazing document and I am happy to be able to read it now. She sent this photo of the group of masters and family members who met together on the big island of Hawaii in 1982. Looking at how young we were! And remembering the innocence, the excitement of feeling like we were pioneers, and the deep abiding feeling of being connected at a level that defied language. This feeling has not gone away through the years. Sometimes I forgot it....sometimes I ignored it....and sometimes I grew nostalgic for the old days!

So some years later, I am hanging out in Arizona feeling the world of Reiki sending me treatments, receiving cards and emails from so many people, and reflecting on my progress over the years. I see that my innocence is still there. I am still amazed at the effect of a Reiki treatment. I am speechless at the energetic impression of having many people send me Reiki. And I have my dreams of what is to come.

Today during my daily morning treatment from Joyce...which is more like a mediation time that feeds my spirit....I had these images that roused my enthusiasm and my childlike trust that somehow these images could come to pass.

I was at Kenyon Ranch, the place about 20 miles from my home here in Arizona, where I have been using for groups. The last OGM retreat was held there in August. The Ranch is for sale now and I have been sitting with this "problem" about money. Somehow in the treatment today, the focus changed to excitement......these are the images......

A week for students/masters: Marta Getty facilitating a group of "healing your family tree", Phil Morgan being with a group for Shamanic work, Fokke Brink and his group experiencing the energy of the symbols through brush work. All meals are together, the reiki treatments are together, the sessions held in the different meeting areas on the Ranch. Other combinations are Paul and Way of Harmony, Kristin Bonney and dream work, Collene Delaney and Sum-ie. Aleema Fontaine and Dance expression, Kandy Brandt and the Game of Transformation, and Elaine Andres and prayer.

A week for international gathering of students/masters with Paul and myself. I see 80-100 students from the global community living and practicing together, then taking this energy back to their own local communities.

A time for a master to bring a group of their students to be with the Spiritual Lineage of the system. This would be a display of the historical articles that I have, the power point presentations I have prepared, and time with me.

A place where a Reiki Master or student could come for individual retreat and daily hands on treatment.

A place where the initiation of masters could happen.....the master brings their student/s to the Ranch and has their own private space to work in the collective energy of that the Ranch holds.....and I would be available for any kind of supportive session that was requested.

A place to bring enrichment to the community: Workshops and Retreats given by any master who wishes to use the facility.
Also to bring to the community outside work: possible topics: building and supporting communities, Inner child work, Byron Katie's The Work, beginning Japanese, zen mediation, conflict resolution, non violent communication,

There is a new year's retreat which will continue on the Ranch, and a Rimpoche who lives now in NYC comes to give teachings.
We could have another one in June and invite another Buddhist teacher (sorry if this is not the right and proper word) to come and share teachings.

Second Degree retreats where there is practicing the symbols, using the treatments together, and living a retreat life where the whole day is in Reiki practice. Waking up at 6;00 in the morning and everyone doing their self treatment at the same time in their own space, meeting before breakfast to greet the day by coming together in a circle and sending reiki to each other, and through the day.....hands on treatments, a time of silence, treatment of others who have requested treatment from the group.

Explorations/teachings for groups of Students and or Masters with me.

Live Broadcasts to other satellite communities around the world.

Experiencing Mystic Order.

And any inspirations you have!

These events can be scheduled at the Ranch in the beginning to support the purchase of the Ranch for the grounding of the next phase of our community development.


This time at home has just begun to give me the understanding of the power of "being home." This is a feeling that I thought I had just because I was traveling within the global Reiki community.....my home. Now I am feeling the difference of that kind of home and the physical home. This brings me to want a home for the system, for our practice, and for the bringing together of all Reiki students and masters by choice.


I ask you to take some time in the next weeks to focus on this concept during your self treatments. See if there is any resonance in you....and let me know what you have discovered or feel. I would appreciate as many people doing this as possible. Money is energy. And the money will follow our energy.

Thanks for listening. with appreciation, Phyllis

By the way...the people in the photo....as far as I can tell are:
From the back row left: Virginia Samdahl's husband, Rick Bockner's forehead, Marta Getty hair behind Virginia's daughter, Barbara West, Bunny Sjogren, Carell Farmer, Paul Mitchell, top of John Gray's head, Susan Mitchell, Vince McFayden (Mary McFayden's husband). Then front left is Virginia Samdahl, Beth Gray, My auntie Kay Yamashita,Me... Phyllis, Ethel Lombardi, Dorothy Baba peeking out, Dorothy's husband, an unidentified woman, and Bethel Phaigh. This was taken in front of the HIlo Hongwanji after the service for our master, Hawayo Takata.

The Fire has really started

Number 9 happened last Wednesday, the 9th of December. Guess there may be many factors involved in the Why! And this is my constant learning: to accept what is happening, do not try to figure it out as though it could have been prevented by my own control!, and to ride the wave!

One of my sisters is here with her family and a brother of mine....and I have not been able to spend time with them because I am still not all here. I am sad about this and realize that I love having my family around me. Even though sometimes it is just having them close, I love that they are there! And this goes so deep. Much of my life I have been away from them for various reasons....see that word again! And now I have another chance to have time with them. But it is not easy feeling as though my body is totally preoccupied with itself and my mind not able to connect enough to make sense! A scary and unfamiliar feeling for me.

The book I mentioned a couple of entries ago is titled: MEMORIES OF THE AFTERLIFE: life between lives. edited by Michael Newton. These thoughts of what happens when we leave these earthly bodies are fascinating. My thoughts wonder about my own life and what the purpose is for me to be here....what are the lessons to be learned and the experiences gained. Obviously this is one of the ways that I can live in the twilight zone (remember the tv series?) and perhaps be more comfortable in living my life.

This also gave me great support when being with Luellen Spencer Garrett in the last week as she let go of her earthly body. In sending her treatments, I could feel her less and less attached to the body and more able to be "etheric" and comfortable. She, as usual, encouraged me to not be holding back with my passions and next steps for the community. She certainly did not!
She, as with many others who have died, will be in connection.

I am going to a place where I talk to the cells that are dying inside me. Asking where they are going, if they have messages, and what is their function in my life. They mostly say.....stop trying to control the process and know.....just be with it and trust! Let spirit come through and trust.

How can this be so difficult?! It is not hard to answer my own questions!

It is now Friday afternoon and usually I am really on the upswing from the chemo treatment. Today, I am not. It is difficult for me to experience the Fire again. And it is burning away that which is not needed.

Thank goodness for Reiki!

Phyllis

Update at 8 treatments

This last wednesday was my 8th treatment! Lost count some where. On Tuesday I went to see the surgeon. She was pleased about the healing of the surgery. I will see her again after the chemotherapy is finished. I will have a mammogram then to see if there is any thing there. I am confident that it will be clear! Good to have positive thinking here.

Then I went to see the nurse practitioner who works with the medical oncologist who is monitoring my treatment program. All my blood counts are good. They are a little down from the beginning but staying within the normal range. Glucose is good. I am carrying a little allergic reaction. They can tell from something that is produced by the body to take care of allergens and show up in the blood. A long explanation for a word I don't remember! Anyway, I chalk this up to the small amount of dairy that I am eating. It keeps my mucus membranes in order!

My nausea is at a minimum. I take only the anti nausea on Wednesdays when they do the chemo treatment. So this seems good. My energy is limited and so I don't have much time on the computer these days. I am eating pretty well and my digestive system is working.

My brain function is really not very together! I have been having an issue with my car and after three appointments with them, I realize that I am not tracking very well. Joyce is going to go on Monday and help me communicate. It is a bit scary. THEY say that it will come back after the chemo. I am counting on Reiki and their past experience to have this be so! I also have a lot of little instances of short term memory loss....it is so weird to have a conversation with someone and a few minutes later say something that obviously ignores the previous conversation of a few minutes ago.....and then remember all of it the next morning when my mind is fresh. Very disappointing!

And I am finding out how much I have depended on my mind. This has been a great revelation. Right now I am playing the Transformation Game with Joyce and another couple. My intention is "I surrender to my Heart." I know that I must take this chance to balance this heart/mind of mine. And I am realizing how scary it has been for me to really express what is in my heart. When I do, it is often under stress and pressure so it sounds like being angry or attacking. Sigh. I had three angels on the emotional level......Compassion, Joy, and Tenderness. The Tenderness angel was really potent for me. I realized that I could not really relate to Tenderness in my life....especially in my self care. I have the angel of Trust for my guardian angel in this game....Trust in my heart.

My heart wants to say that it is overwhelmed right now with the exercise it is getting! Receiving, Receiving, Receiving, and Giving, Giving, Giving. It is coming into balance. And I feel very soft and fragile right now.

In trust! Phyllis

Reflections

Well, the last chemo was number 8. The progress towards the half way mark is really moving fast. Perhaps I cannot count them any more!

My trip to Santa Fe/Albuquerque was wonderful but tiring. I will not be traveling again. I thought I might be able to go to El Paso in January but I think this is too much. There were several good things for me on my journey last week. I came back to Santa Fe without looking for my dear friend, John Wallace. He died 4 years ago during this period of time. I was so shocked and in Hawaii at the time. I could not come back for the service and saying good bye with the community, so I have just denied a part of his leaving. I stayed very close to his home at the time of his death. It was good to be in this landscape. I also went up to Abiquiu where many of my important moments with John and with myself have occurred. It was good to be nourished by the land and the smell of the air and the feel of the soft earth under my feet. Thank you Elizabeth for accompanying me up there.

Now I am home and have been reading a book on Life between Life. It is a fascinating book of case studies from hypnotherapists who do this specialized work. The case studies are interesting....but what I find most interesting is the cosmology or the way they have mapped out where a human being's soul goes....or perhaps more ....what happens to the soul when it is freed from the physical body. They speak about the means of communication and the importance of the communication to the soul. It seems that it is possible to not wait until one has this experience naturally...after death....but before dying so one can take advantage of knowledge earlier than normally done.

When I think of our distant treatments, of the communication that opens up within ourselves as well as to others who are important in our lives as we move into the practice of first degree, and the experiences of unusual character that occur with regularity in our practice, I am wondering if we are penetrating this veil also. If so, can we innocently go into the unknown and simply fumble around or is there more understanding needed.

In my teaching.....:Let Reiki Teach You....is the basic premise to these sorts of situations. I am going to explore this a bit further and see where this goes. This whole thing brings me back to my time/space theory within this practice and the experiences that happen with regularity in our daily lives.

Can one really live with the knowledge of both worlds....this Life and what lies beyond? This is my question for myself.
Will let you know if there is anything that comes of this exploration!

Until the next posting.....in reflection.....Phyllis

A New Look

November 19, 2009
On the road to Santa Fe, New Mexico

Here I am on my first road trip in six weeks! And I have completed my six weeks of Chemo therapy, which is into the second quarter of the protocol So far the side affects have been minimal but have impacted my life in significant ways. And how knows what the far reaching effects will be. The unknown stretches out ahead of me. The scary part of this unknown is that it has the quality of spirit and the absolute flow of the universe/Reiki. No control, no pretense of control, and relinquishing the possibility of vision. I am seeing that vision can be a defense mechanism too. I am wondering now if true vision is of the ethers and not of substance.

The knowledge I am gaining about my body is tremendous. All my pre conceived notions about what I Should be eating, what I Should be doing, and what my body wants are not applicable now. It is my job now to listen as closely to my body as much as possible and allow my mind to resist without succumbing to the resistance. It is a tough battle! And mostly it is an internal struggle that I am not liking. I am finding out about my lymph system, what it is like to be slightly nauseous most of the time (which some people live with for years!), and what it is like to be able to do ONE thing at a time! No longer can I multi-task…and if I am tired, doing one thing that takes concentration is not possible. Sigh.

I also have been reminded that I am in the process of giving up the physical/energetic movement of having a point on the horizon to travel to and preparing for the journey, consistently, as I have in the last thirty years. I am finding this trip now tiring and amazingly long! 8 hours driving in two days! Used to be a no problem trip with a class or gathering at the end of the journey!
How does my psyche cope with stillness?

Years ago I was told that my job was to receive. And to receive whatever was given with grace and gratitude. Now I am being presented with another whole level of RECEIVING. The receiving is not on the material plane but on the spiritual and etheric levels. It seems that this love and support coming to me is not limited to a human concept of love and "wanting to help" but is sourced from a different place. This is opening me in a different way. And Thank You seems not the appropriate response. I have not thought of another one yet!

As I have told countless Reiki students, the most I can do is be the best student I can be, living the precepts, and listening, listening.
During the last years I have been more and more conscious of my hair. In the last months it has begun to attract more and more attention from me by coming out! During the chemo therapy this has become more and more evident. I sent a treatment to my hair…and did not get a physical "reason" for this and did not get a solution. What I did get was a message…..what is happening? How can you flow the flow? So I realized that having my hair cut down to my scalp was what was called out in me. As I thought about doing this….I realized that hair often represents the past and in cutting it off, I was releasing the past and letting the present start now. I also wondered about the spiritual significance of shaving one's head. I will see what happens in the next weeks. As I drove to the appointment with my hairdresser, I became more and more excited. Now it is done! And I love the feeling! At this point it feels like there is not a filter for the energy to come through to my head. I feel every nuance of the air around me, the energy, and my awareness has been heightened. I look forward to where this leads me.

You have asked…How are you? I cannot really answer this question. I can share some of what is happening now. Each day, Each week brings more and more to me. Only a part is able to be expressed in words. The Reiki I am receiving is supporting me in this major renovation and restoration of my spirit.

Thank you for asking. Thank you for being there in spirit and in thought. You are the richness of my life; inspiration and compost.

For continued updates of my process, please go to the Blog…
www. phyllisfurumoto.blogspot.com.

with love and amazement,

Phyllis

Things I am learning about my body

Well, I never would have believed how much one can learn about one's body in such a short time. Part of it is, of course, that I am making this my priority and this is my first line of attention. When I wake up, my first thought is "How do I feel?" "What is my body feeling like today?" A few weeks ago, my first thought was "What am I scheduled to do today?"

So my report. I am learning about my lymph system, how to manually move the lymph fluid from my right arm and side to flow into the larger lymph nodes in my neck and groin area! I have special exercises that I should do three times a day. I am lucky to get two sets in a day. I am learning about lymph drainage massage, diet, and what is my future. Sometimes I am afraid of the fluid building up and then having no where to go. However, so far, it has been good. I also have a great physiotherapist who is helping me out.

Everyone tells me that it takes about 12 months for the body to adjust after surgery. I see that each day, each week, there are new little things that have healed. When the larger obvious wounds have healed, then the more subtle things arise, such as the lymph system. It is a fabulous journey and I have increasing wonder at the miracle of my human body.

I am having slight side effects from the chemo. Sometimes I have slight nausea which gets worse if I drive in a car or move around. I get motion sickness! I have never experienced motion sickness that I can remember! This is a new experience! If I eat certain foods....like a piece of toast, the nausea goes away. I am taking the anti nausea medication with the chemotherapy that is being given each week, but I am not taking the pills every day. This feels good. With the nausea, I am kept quieter and spend more time being with myself and not taking on projects or working. It is a good result.

The one side effect that I was assured would not be a problem is hair loss. I have been experiencing some hair loss from an unknown source for the last six or eight months. When I had surgery, this increased. Then with the build up of chemo in my body, the hair loss is becoming almost hand fulls! So tomorrow I have an appointment with my hair dresser! I may have her shave my head. This will just get it all over with....and I will only have hair to look forward to! Rather than looking forward to deciding if enough has fallen out. I also believe that this is a part of my path to be experienced now. I rather look forward to it. I feel that this will change something inside of me. Like my hair is my strength....a part of my control of my image. Now, without it, I must simply be me. I will see what happens!

The other thing that is noticeable is watching what I want to eat, how much I eat, and when I eat. When playing the transformation game in September, I drew the card: "You eat to nourish your body not feed your emotions." This was an important point to remember. I am eating some food that I think would not be appropriate and being okay with it. The doctors want me to eat protein to keep up my blood count. They want me to focus on keeping my body working with all of the toxins in it. How much can my body handle!

Much more than I thought. This is my thought now....and I have 15 more treatments to go. Well, we will all know in a few weeks how my body is holding up! I do know that the Reiki keeps me in my body, keeps my body strong and clear, and provides information about what it wants. Thank you for your contribution to my workshop of Body Awareness!

Time for bed now.

Good night. signing off....with hair! Phyllis

Health, is it a myth?

One day when I was receiving Reiki, I was thinking about my decision to take this course of Chemotherapy. Of course, a part of me was questioning my decision and asking, "Did I do the right thing?" Immediately, I understood that this was not the question at hand. This was simply avoid the deeper question. One of the lessons learned in the practice of Reiki is that there is no real right and wrong. We make our choices....sometimes they are not decisions in the way of the mind or logic! What is important is to look to our choices and the roads that close and open to us as a result of our choice. My father always said that I must be willing to go through the consequences of my choice. And so, in my moment of doubt, I ask.....Was this right!

Next question. What is the problem with Chemo? Is it that it "kills" healthy cells. Cancer, in some people's minds, is a response of the body to an unhealthy state in the body. Does this mean that cancer is unhealthy or that it is misunderstood? Perhaps this is simply a matter of perspective. But the next question came to me. What is health? Felip in Canada is always asking me, "Why, as Reiki masters, are we not more healthy?" What is health? How do we become healthy? When do we know we are healthy?

This reminded me of the dissonant chords of events.....a very physically healthy man in his late 50's dying in a few moments of massive heart failure. A woman who smokes and drinks whiskey every day, living in all of her splendor until the age of 95! A monk living quietly with cancer for years. What is our path as human beings? What does it have to do with disease and health?

In thinking about all these questions and the roads leading off to other places from them, I came to a thought. Perhaps this concentration on HEALTH is a fantasy of our new age thinking, of being able to live longer than we thought possible 100 hundred years ago, of thinking that we can control the possibilities of our lives. I have berated myself throughout the years about my diet, my dislike of walking, of not having enough discipline to do healthy things for me, and so on. Was this healthy thinking? I would say not. Did I fall out of health? Am I not healthy now?

Just after my surgery, I felt so healthy! And it seemed like a joke! How could I be healthy when I just had surgery for cancer?

Perhaps the concentration on Health is somehow a cover up for something else. In these days of contemplation and time to follow up on some of my byways of thought, I will come to another conclusion...perhaps. For now, I am letting go of my need to be healthy, in the new age magazine image, and just be me. As I am now.

Open for your comments! Phyllis

What is happening now?

Three weeks into the Chemo therapy process, I realize that this Blog will be good for me to record my process. This is because my mind is what is being affected the most! And I have just discovered how much I rely on my mind to keep me "together!" Well an insight to me but not news to some of you out there!

The first time into the Cllinic for the chemo, Joyce and my mother went with me. It was good to have them there. The care of the staff and the professionalism of the clinic was reassuring. They were more than open to our holding the chemicals for the chemo and the anti-nausea stuff also. Then Joyce treated me while they injected the chemicals into my "port" which is a small device inserted under my skin at the collar bone for the weekly injections and blood tests. This port was very painful for the first two weeks and now is better. In addition to this injection time, I also take two pills every night. So every night I have to make the clear decision of swallowing the pills! Sometimes it is hard. I remember Barbara McDaniel's words of "Be thankful that you have something to take!"

After three such sessions....the patten is emerging. Wednesday I am anxious because I don't know what will happen...and I know the chemo will happen! Usually just afterwards I have lunch, make a short stop before coming home and then home to bed! Thursdays are down days for me. I am usually not doing anything except sleeping, watching movies, and staring into space! Joyce says that I am not really here.

Fridays I do one or two physical things that help me come back! But I tire easily and sleep early. Saturday and Sunday are better days and by Tuesday, I am working in the office on my computer and other things. However, throughout all this, my mind is only able to "see" one thing and one thing only. If I am distracted! Then whatever I was doing is mostly gone. Frightening! But I am not bad.....or out of it when I am on that one thing! Emotionally I am fragile and am very sensitive! Things are getting more confusing because of this! And Spiritually I am learning and learning about what this means! I see that I have had many ideas which don't seem to be accurate so am in a creative space of confusion....as Bethal Phaigh pointed out years ago. This is the space between two states of consciousness!

I love receiving and reading the emails, cards, and connection through Skype and the telephone! And I am having a difficult time organizing myself to respond! I love Skype....because I can see if you are on your computer when I am. Somehow this gives me a warm and sweet feeling inside. And I love having the occasional conversation on Skype! Thank Goodness that the camera only shows the "top" half!

My one concern right now is about hands on treatment. I do not have enough contacts here in the area to have a treatment everyday.....and I would love to have daily treatments as well as the time Joyce and I have in the early mornings with Reiki. If any of you know of students in the Tucson area....please email me! Thanks!

As this process becomes more and more intense, the Reiki will be more and more necessary! So I am looking ahead....and there are people who are traveling here to spend some time with me...supporting me in treatment as well as driving me around. The more chemo I have the less I want to drive myself! Wheew! What a thing to relinquish. Can you imagine me not driving? The thought of the autobahn strike terror in my heart now!

Joyce and I are looking for a regular housekeeper to help us in keeping the house clean...which is important now ...and more than just to be comfortable but to be clean! I dislike not being able to do this myself. Sigh. So there are many changes that I will need to accept. This is a spiritual discipline!

Thank you for your support in sending Reiki,

Signing off for now...Phyllis

Time in Almaty

Just to keep in a kind of order....I wanted to talk about my trip to Almaty Kazakhstan. It is a beautiful city now very fast becoming "westernized." Lots of hugs glass paneled buildings going up and the roads are up to anyone's standards! Amazing changes. The People are still very lovely with many of the tribal influences shown in the faces and manners of the people themselves. Such diversity with open hearts. I was welcomed with open arms and had three weeks of being cared for. I ate simply with brown rice and miso soup as my staples. I had at least one and sometimes three treatments a day which was important for my balance of time. It was difficult all the way through the weeks stay to really sleep all night. When I did, it was a cause for celebration! The events were rewarding with many questions about healing, history, and my process. Talking about this and having discussions about Reiki and healing was good for me. Allowed for more clarity and lots of different viewpoints. Paul Mitchell was there for all the events and was a strong support throughout.

It was good to "get away" from the doctor appointments, the immersion into the medical model of things, and to feel the Reiki community enfold me. Whew! Just what I needed for balance. A great thank you to the organizers of these events and the ones that I needed to cancel also. I appreciate the support and openness of opportunities that have come from this situation.

I am glad to have made this trip. I also understood the stress levels that are inherent in traveling, in a different way. I realized how much energy and how little time I really had for myself over these years, though I would not change them now! I realized the continued gift of insight that I have through my journey with cancer. I am grateful for it all. Thank you again and again for being with me on the journey and supporting me even if you have doubts about my choices. What compassion!

Signing off for now. Phyllis at home in Arizona

What is the song, singing in me now?

End of August 2009:

August 19 will be a date to remember in my life! My first surgery and effectively my first brush with illness. Afterwards, I felt pretty good...sore, swollen under my arm, and somehow, healthy! People were around me who were attending the events at the Pocket Sanctuary Ranch. I had lots of Reiki and this took me through the OGM Retreat.
Then I realized I needed to come home and be more alone. It was not easy and I had a feeling of leaving a safe place and entering another one.
The Surgeon had my permission to remove the first lymph nodes and found that there was cancer in the first one but not the others. I am to have tests to check whether the cancer has located in another place in my body. These will be done on September 9.
In the meantime, I am scheduling the followup treatment to the surgery. This has been difficult. So many belief systems, unconscious fears and “appearances” to consider. Now, I have decided to have the chemotherapy and radiation. This is not out of fear but out of a feeling that this is the way I need to go. Strangely, that this path will serve me.
This weekly treatment, which will start October 14, will be accompanied by daily hands on Reiki treatments, distant treatments, prayers, homeopathic support of internal organs, and other supplements. I am shifting to a macro biotic diet. There will be other possible supporting ideas and treatments along the way.
Fear does arise at times. When it does, I find myself carried by the trust within and by the comfort of feeling Reiki with me.
My inner process is so intense and complicated that it is not possible to express it. Only to say, I have discovered that my heart has been clouded by past experiences. I thought that spirit resided in my head! And now I know that my heart is the place of my Spirit, and therein, a place of peace.

To my wonderful support network!

9. August 2009:

It has been a week since the biopsy when I knew deep inside that the spot in my breast was cancer. Since then I have been continuing my journey, as I was before. The difference now is where my attention is. My being is the focus of my attention.

Talk, talk talk. I talked about slowing down, not traveling as much, and taking more time for myself. These are the symptoms of something else. Because these did not capture the essence of what my soul wanted, I did not hear the truth behind the words. As Reiki has brought me the gift of this messenger, it is my priority to listen and to act accordingly.

Just as it is not gentle on the body to go to extremes, I hope to avoid this on all levels. The greater challenge is to be sensitive to what my body and soul are saying and honor their messages.

When I first sent Reiki to my spot, I asked the spot, "What is your name?" The spot said, "You are not ready to talk with me directly! You must first accept and appreciate fully your body!" I am writing a list of all the envy I have had of other people's bodies, how I wish I were different. Then I am writing a list of all the qualities of my body now that just are. When I finish with the second list, which is not easy, then I will have a ceremony to create the bridge of letting go of the desire to be different and embracing the body that I have. I will then see if the spot will talk with me!

I know that the word cancer is very evocative. The word can pull up deepest fears that are projections of night time fear, fear of death, and fear of loss. I appreciate that you care for me and that these might have come forth. If this is the beginning of physical death for me, then I sincerely wish to hold this part of my journey with dignity and courage taking the next steps into the unknown.

Right now, I am waiting for more information from the medical community. Before this, I have begun a relationship with my spot., to see the gifts that are coming to me through this experience and the reassurance that my secret desire of moving into another realm of service for the community is the path of my soul.

I welcome Reiki treatments and know that my Being will accept the energy, using it as it needs. If you wish to have a focus, these are some that would continue to support my life's journey:

See both my spiritual and physical bodies fill with Reiki

See me being open to the messages of my body and having the courage to speak the truth of my body

Hold the healing of any rifts that are in my personal or reiki life

See me embrace my physical body as it is…..glorious and strong

Feel my trust in my innate goodness and beauty

Thank you for your greetings, loving messages, advice, and translations of medical jargon.
Thank you for allowing me to be a recipient of your Reiki practice!

hyllis Furumoto