Be the Change

This last weekend I had the pleasure of living one of my after cancer dreams. This was to spend a weekend with masters from the local Arizona area at the Kenyon Ranch with the intention of being together in harmony. We came from different forms of practice and different backgrounds intending to meet as one. We did it!

There was a challenge to this. On Saturday morning, our local congresswoman, U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, was shot as well as several others around her. 5 people died. She is still in critical condition. The man who shot these people seems to be a mixed up man with a wish to have our government feel supportive and "talk straight," I can certainly understand and agree with his wish but not with his way of expressing his frustration, powerlessness, and helplessness.

We found out when we broke for lunch. We had agreed to meet for a session with one of the masters who lead Dances of Universal Peace. She choose dances for us that allowed us to feel our connection, to gather " all people" in our arms, and to express our longing to be there with our Reiki hands. This was a great way to integrate the news and to set a course of compassion for everyone involved. We ended the day feeling as connected as a group could be, holding this paradox that someone else on that day felt so separated from himself that he was able to kill.

Today when I heard the news, reminding me about the minute of silence for the people who have died and the ones who are wounded, i began to feel the sadness come over me. Finally I had to go to bed taking a hot water bottle with me to comfort my neck which had a funny crink in it! I gave myself Reiki, relaxed the muscles in my neck, and slept for a time. When I woke up, I felt better.

After lunch, I recorded a conversation with Susan Mitchell for the radio show. The subject was compassion. It was a good interview and I was able to sort through some of my response to this shock wave. Violence seems to start a wave that ripples out and I was rocked by it.

Imagine how it must be to be in this kind of violence day and night? I cannot. And because of this, I search myself for the understanding of what it must be like for the man who was at the epicenter of this violence. He is a part of me. I am a part of him. We are one.

I am at peace when I write this. But how can I live this? I want to push him out of me and declare that I have nothing of that in me. I only have disgust and disbelief. But I wonder, about the life I wish to lead? How can I include him the in the practice of the precepts? How can I include him in the One?

And this is my challenge. I hold this softly and gently. I pray for us all that our hearts remain open.

i remember the feeling of Saturday night's circle and remember the One.

with trust in all that is happening,

Phyllis

Christmas and its meaning

It is the 24th of December....and more than Christmas, I remember this as my grandmother Takata's birthday. Each year as this date passes through me, I realize that my gratitude is growing and growing.

I have been, without a doubt, looking back to last year and how I felt then. It was such an effort to get up and move about! My dear friends who had been giving me hands on treatment each day had a great idea....we would all stay in our pajamas and have a breakfast together! It was such fun and I realize, they came to my daily routine! It was so sweet! And then the rest of the day was spent together watching movies and snacking on good things that we brought together.

This year, I have not my usual energy for decorating and getting things together for Christmas, but I am not pushing myself either. This is good! We are having a quiet day tomorrow.....feeding the horses at the Ranch and I have the desire to go out and have a ceremony there. I used to do this when I lived in northern New Mexico. The air/space on the early morning of Christmas is so special somehow.....and I used to drive out to the edge of the canyon there and watch the sun come up....drumming and singing to the day.

This day is like a touch stone each year for me. It is about remembering all the good things that have happened. Enjoying family and friends and generosity. It is about birth and LIFE in a new way. This day is about heart and warmth and comfort. I have grown away from the midnight church services and the story of he manager.....and try to grow away from the madness of spending money! But the spirit of Christmas is with me and I am happy to be sharing this with you, whatever your feelings about Christmas are!

So this is why my gratitude is growing for the gifts that my grandmother has given to the world, to me, and to my family.
She gave these gifts by being herself. This is inspirational. We don't have to be anything but ourselves and the gifts came to those that we love and care for.

Alooooha

Well, I got home from NYC with the start of a kind of cold. I feel it was simple exhaustion. Something that my body does when there is nothing left. I stayed in bed for two days...then had to get up and out to prepare to come to Hawaii! Who did this schedule? Me! And it was not a good schedule for my body...but I have survived and am really looking at my next year's schedule to make sure I have GAPS!

I have recovered my energy and the cold like symptoms are gone. I have rested instead of being on the beach.....I have rested instead of lying in the sun....I have rested. And so I am much much better.

My time at the Four Seasons has been good and I am learning to be a practitioner! Working out of the Spa here and teaching a class to some members of the Spa staff has been a great experience! I see where I am not in training to sit for four treatments in a row! Tomorrow I have a full schedule and I am wondering....can I do it! Well, we will see!

The organizational meeting concerning the Ranch are continuing and if you have some moments to send me Reiki, I would appreciate it! The more clear I am .....the easier everything will be! Thank you for your continued support on this project.
I see that it will support my new life style in so many ways...that I am astonished that I did not see them before!

Aloha: In the Hawaiian language means affection, love, peace, compassion, mercy, hello, and good bye. What a wonderful word. And it is said with the heart and a lingering lilt to the voice.

Aloha ......Phyllis

Happy Thanks....giving

Dear Friends and support team! It has been weeks since I have written to you by this BLOG> And I have been thinking about you and wanting to get on line! Today here in the U.S....we are celebrating Thanksgiving. This is a day when we come together with family and friends to give Thanks......See what blessings we have every day of our lives.....and acknowledge them! So this is my chance to say ....You have been a blessing in my life....especially in the last 18 months...and you keep my on my path of healing, on all levels.

Right now, my physical level of healing is pretty high. The supplements I am taking are raising the internal balance of my body to a healthier level than before I began the cancer treatment. I am looking at deeper issues on the emotional and spiritual level to care for other issues....such as my weight and body awareness. This is going well.....though I want it to be faster...but I am learning to see what is...and accept it! This is a huge one for me.

I had a report from my nathropathic oncologist a few weeks ago...while still in Russia....and my estrogen level is good...below what they are looking for....which is Good! There are genetic markers that are favorable for continued health. And the level of vitamin D is good now....which is a critical one for many different reasons.

It took me about two weeks to recover from the trip from Moscow to Green Valley! It was a long one and I, again, realized how much I had put my body through all those years of traveling! What a time of insight and becoming clear that I will not push myself again to this point.

So the next long trip will be October 2011 to Almaty Kazackstan. It is a completion of some work I have started there. I am happy to do this trip but the scheduling is difficult. How to stay for enough time to be able to rest between events while not stringing out the days and compiling expenses there. The last trip to Russia was good financially only because very generous masters donated their apartments for me to stay in between the events, and many supported me by driving me around, giving me money for internet services and phone cards, and to pay for my meals. It is alot to receive and I feel I did it well. Such open hearts inspire open hearted receiving. Sometimes it was not easy.....but I managed!

Each year, I will prepare myself for a long trip...until I cannot do them any more. I hope to go to South American again and to Europe again. Then I will see how I feel.

Will I recover enough to resume my life before cancer. I hope not. Because it was not a healthy life for me. And I loved it! So many places to see and admire! So many wonderful beautiful people to meet and embrace into my life! So many sunrises and sunsets to know that the earth is my home....and is at once the same everywhere...and different everywhere.

I am now in New Jersey just across the river (?) from New York City with some of my family for Thanksgiving! This is a great blessing too. They have been so supportive and caring for me these last months.....and I am fully into my family now for the first time in my life.

This journey has been a gift....not one I made up because it seemed to be the "right" thing to do....but one that was just so.
Reiki brings us all wake-up calls. It is good to listen and to allow life to show you the way. This is one of the gifts that Reiki has brought to me.

In this time of giving Thanks......I am filled with gratitude and peace.
Thank you for being a part of it!

Phyllis

with love from Russia

Here we are in Russia! We came almost a week early and had a time resting and being cared for. We came to St Petersburg on the very fast train ....the SAPSAN. Wonderful. And will go back on the same train in a week. I am busy in a Master Candidate Retreat with Jessica Palin, a wonderful music therapist from the UK. Joyce is helping to cook.....and we are all enjoying the autumnal days. The trees are tall and lanky birches and pines. Now the golden leaves are raining down on the ground....covering the earth with a lovely carpet of leaves. Magical. There is a hint of snow to come and it is exciting to be in this transitional season. The weather has been fabulous. The day light doesn't actually come through clearly until about 9am and it is dark by 6:30 pm.

I have been in Russia many times and I get this time how much of a foreign country it is! So crazy! I am appreciating many things about the Reiki community here and also learning more and more about the daily life of Russian families as we all live together. It is great!

I am taking my supplements, practicing yoga which I am really getting into these days, and walking through the leaves! I am enjoying the bit of exercise that I can take during the days. I rested the last two mornings and this was good for me. It keeps me in balance. I am happy that I have the willingness not to push myself! Yeah!

We will be here for another week and then back to Moscow for three weeks. I am looking forward to being a tourist and to be with the students and masters on a weekend retreat. Then I have a week off!!! And then a week for a masters' intensive.

The new web site is coming along and so are the plans for the Ranch. Will keep you posted!

Good to be on the road....but I get now how much energy and effort it takes for me to be here. It is a good lesson!

from Russia......with love, Phyllis

Latest report from Drs

This week has been full! I made three trips to Tucson that were full of errands and meeting people. On Tuesday, I had an appointment with Dr Ley, my surgeon, and Dr Swart, the medical oncologist. They both were pleased with my healing and we had great talks. Losing weight is the theme now! And I am getting really lovely support from both of them.

I have been going down and now it seems that the weight is finally moving! So happy. We have been home for a week and a half and been very true to the diet. This seems, of course, to make all the difference.

The research and development of a way to buy the Rnach is moving ahead with meetings....and this is tightening up an already full schedule. I have been noticing that this is how my life was all the time BEFORE! And now it just makes me crazy....stressed. So it is a good check to know this and to be aware of having time for myself. This is such a test of lessons learned and behaviors changed!

My energy is good and I am really into the yoga right now. It feels so good and is strengthening me from the inside out....it feels. As well as giving me time to really let the energy move through my body. I am missing the hands on Reiki treatments and look forward to being in Russia soon where I will resume the daily treatments from others.

My energy level is improving slowly and I am happy about this.

We are off on the 29th for Moscow. I will keep you posted. I am traveling with all my bottles of pills and supplements. I hope that there will be no issue for me at the customs in Moscow. Keep your fingers crossed and Reiki coming! Actually, I would love to have some Reiki especially for these next days of preparation and of traveling. I am so happy that Joyce is coming with me. I don't think I could do this without her.

with anticipation,
Phyllis

At home again!

These photos are of the OGM Retreat......one of Joyce and I at the BBQ night and the other of the hall where we met each day.

On September 15, Joyce and I pulled into our drive after being away for 6 weeks. It was a full and productive road trip with the joy of being with many of my old friends and family in Canada, the fullness of the OGM Retreat, and the next steps in my treatment program settling down.

I have already talked about the Canadian part of the journey. It was so nourishing to be up there, to see my step children and their families, and to be in the clear waters of Slocan Lake. I hop to go back up there in January for a week of winter retreat....mostly in silence, by my self. I am looking forward to making this happen as I feel the nourishment of my soul needing these kinds of spaces.

The OGM Retreat was remarkable. 50 of us sat in circle for 4+ days. These circles were called by Paul Mitchell and I to assist us in finding our next steps as the OGM. What is our next work? The definition of the system has been done and disbursed for the community benefit. This is the work we have been doing for the last 18 years. Also we needed to have the circle actually filled with people who care about the system and are dedicated to the continuance of the system, Usui Shiki Ryoho. Again, in this year, the third circle formed. We went through a series of sharing circles. Each one was like a contribution of a puzzle piece. At the end, the image on the puzzle was clear to all of us. The next step is to purchase the Kenyon Ranch for the benefit of the system, the international community, and the spiritual lineage. This was an exciting conclusion of the time together.

Tomorrow we are meeting with the present owners of the Ranch to begin negotiations. Please send Reiki to me.....for clarity and support. I have been fairly quiet about all this....I feel a change growing inside me. Like my position within is changing. It is a natural part of the process of change that was kick started by the diagnosis of my breast cancer last year. I felt it in the circle and the people who were there acknowledged it in different ways. This is a scary and important step for me...the change and the echo of the Ranch proceedings!

My next steps of treatment have been a bit rocky as I asked for so much! Weight loss on top of the hormone treatment. so I have ended up with a shake in the morning that not only cleanses my liver and sets me up for the day to not crave food, to taking massive doses of vitamin B12, Vitamin D3, Vitamin C, and other meds that are natural estrogen inhibitors. At first I started to have some side effects and dosages were altered. Now I have a steady routine and this feels good. My body is feeling strengthened by the protocol and I feel much better all the way around. I lost some weight up until the Retreat at the end of August but the last two weeks on the road....it was hard to not eat carbs......so I gained some of it back. Now I am really at home and can dig into the diet and my exercise again! It is good.

I am having some noises about blood clotting. This is such an interesting story and I wonder about how this is coming up!

So I took a requisition form from one of the nathropaths....the one assisting me with weight loss and general health. She circled the wrong blood test. It was a test about the clotting time of my blood. This came back with an "elevated" reading. So she wanted me to take the test again...which I did. Now they want another series of tests done. Their concern is about blood clots!
So I am, on one hand, just astonished and cannot take it seriously. Surely the Drs would have noticed this in all the blood tests I had done for the chemotherapy and so on. And at the same time, I wonder about this for my next flight to Russia...in less than two weeks! So Again, Reiki would be great. This is a niggling stress for me that I hope gets cleared up in the next week.

I see the Surgeon and the Oncologist at the Cancer Center on Tuesday. One of the things I am going to do when I get home from Russia is to see if I can go to a dermatologist. There are a few funny spots on my skin that I don't think is cancer...but good to check them out. Also I want to ask about the next steps and if there is anything I need to do....besides lose weight and see them periodically. I will be interested in seeing them again.

I will write a report to you all next week.......

My desk is piled with stacks of things to file and to do. LIfe is returning in a different way. I am happy to be home and look forward to my trip to Russia. The community there always gives me amazing gifts of heart, studentship, and recognition of the mystic.

That's all for now! with love and appreciation for your being our there.....to receive my writings and to respond with Reiki.

Phyllis