A long winter

This winter has been a long one for many of us, even here in Arizona. At the beginning of February when the weather usually starts its warming trend, we had record breaking lows and severe winds. The temperature went down to the low 20 degrees F and many of the cactuses were frost bitten. Not the saguaros! Thank goodness. All during February the night time temperatures have been mostly below freezing and the palm trees and other tropical trees are looking pretty bad. I don't know whether they are actually frozen or they will come back. The date palms in front of our house have a little green on the inside of their leaves (fronds) so I hope they are okay.

For me, I have had a lot of Reiki contact,at the beginning of the month with Phil Morgan. We co-facilitated a workshop called Reiki, a sacred path of healing. It was a major time for me to look at losing weight. Since this workshop, I have stayed on a simple diet and am losing weight. It does not seem to be as difficult as before. Some of the struggle is gone! So this leads me to feeling better about myself and my walking is better. Then had a Master Intensive here with Paul Mitchell and this was also a good time to be with the system and our practice. Since then I have had visitors who are also Reiki Masters. We have exchanged treatments and my emotional health is getting better. I have not yet used the antidepressants! This is a good thing. Thanks to Reiki.

The Port removal was an amazing process. As I felt the port being taken out of my body, I actually was sad! And miss its presence there on my left side. I am glad to have it NOT be there.....but have been curious about missing it. So I treated myself with a distant treatment and got in touch with a culture that I had been immersed in...the cancer culture, where everyone is so kind and generous. I wonder if I will miss this! Or if I will find this in my life! Not that I don't have kind and generous friends, colleagues, and professional connections, but there is a quality of this that is definitely different.

I still have the "seri-stripes" on my left side where the stitches still remain. I treat myself extra long there in the mornings and wonder when they will be absorbed into my body! I am continually amazed at the body and its resilience.

The projects that I have on my desk right now are consuming me.....the web site is still in process, the preparation for the presentation of the Reiki Home is in its final stages, and there are medical insurance things that need documenting and so on. The desk is piled up and I wonder if I will get through it all. I am becoming clear about how people get into pacing the floor!
But I have been better about receiving Reiki and this always puts me into a better frame of mind. Sometimes I wonder if the state of mind after Reiki is avoidance or a good way to be. At this point, I see and feel it as a better way to be....testing the concepts of the principle "Just for today, do not worry!

I was treating myself this morning, realizing I had not posted a blog entry for a while, and realizing that it has been good for me to simply share with you. Thank you for listening and for responding! You all are a great support for me.

There are parts of me that have gone and the parts that are left are wondering what to do! Like the beautiful desert palms, the cactus, and the sweet trees that have been frozen, the part of me that loved traveling is gone. What replaces this part? How will I be able to continue to support myself financially? Will there be something to replace this part? All this seems to be a mystery now. I have to trust in the greater process that Reiki is taking me through. Deep breath! Thanks for being there!

Phyllis

Another milestone

So far so good! I have been receiving almost daily hands on treatments.....we did a lot over the weekend self-treatments together, hands on and distant treatments. This was great and now I am home and having friends come over and treat me. I appreciate the distant and this gives me the backup support that I really need. Thank you!

Today...this morning ...wednesday....I am going in to the hospital to have my port taken out. It is a plastic thing that they put into my major vein near my collarbone on the left side. The little "hose" goes into my heart where they deliver the chemo therapy! Yuk! It has been creepy to have it in me all this time. They did not take it out before in order to be sure I did not have another reason to use it. So this is a great milestone and I am happy to have it out...but not happy about the procedure.

Joyce is going with me and she will be "holding my hand." For those who are reading this now.....you can hold my etheric hand!

Another milestone of recovery.

More later....when I come back! Phyllis

Home from El Paso

I have just arrived home from my teaching trip to El Paso. The Reiki has been fabulous! I made it a priority to have a treatment every day...which I did! And mostly in the mornings which was great because my nights are still not settled...so having a good treatment (sometimes 2 hours) was a life saver. Then I also was in the energy of teaching a First Degree class and a Second Degree class. Both were special...as usual!!! I loved seeing my students from the years past. They are doing well and their Reiki is strong and clear. So wonderful to see the development of a community too!

In the afternoons I was able to have time to visit with some of the students that I taught some years ago and to reconnect in a good way. I had great hosts and they treated me well.

So now my next step is to keep this up at home! Luckily Phil Morgan is arriving tomorrow afternoon and we will have a workshop together at Kenyon Ranch next week.

With all my appreciation for your treatments which are the foundation for my good mind right now.

I appreciate your time and willingness to keep supporting me through this time of ups and downs.

Phyllis

Treatment request

Dear Readers, I have found myself in another state. Lately I have been having periods of really down times. It has not been easy sometimes and there are some good insights that come forth. However, it is getting to be that I am not able to function very well and not with my usual attention.

I went to my Medical Oncologist a few days ago and told her what had been happening. The good news is that my estrogen levels are very low and this is the condition they are looking for to create another margin around the cancer. It is good that I am able to do this on supplements and not her medication. The not so great side effects is what she calls "moodiness." Her solution is anti-depressants, which i am tempted to take because my state of being is deteriorating as the time goes by.

This week I am teaching in El Paso and have the mornings off for 10 days. I am going to schedule treatments every day and get some exercise. Perhaps this will help. I will be staying with a family who is very into exercise. Perhaps I will be influenced!

At the same time, there is a dear friend and Reiki Master colleague who is not doing well. She found she had cancer in her lungs and it has gone to brain tumors. I am sad not to be able to fly to the UK to visit her...and sad that she is most likely going to die before I see her again. I try to keep current and say what I need when I have the chance because one never knows what is going to happen. This came from an experience I had in my twenties. So on one level it is fine...and on another I don't feel finished!
This situation is not helping my state of mind.

I would appreciate renewed efforts around sending me Reiki, especially in my mornings. These seem to be the worst time.

With appreciation,

Phyllis

Be the Change

This last weekend I had the pleasure of living one of my after cancer dreams. This was to spend a weekend with masters from the local Arizona area at the Kenyon Ranch with the intention of being together in harmony. We came from different forms of practice and different backgrounds intending to meet as one. We did it!

There was a challenge to this. On Saturday morning, our local congresswoman, U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, was shot as well as several others around her. 5 people died. She is still in critical condition. The man who shot these people seems to be a mixed up man with a wish to have our government feel supportive and "talk straight," I can certainly understand and agree with his wish but not with his way of expressing his frustration, powerlessness, and helplessness.

We found out when we broke for lunch. We had agreed to meet for a session with one of the masters who lead Dances of Universal Peace. She choose dances for us that allowed us to feel our connection, to gather " all people" in our arms, and to express our longing to be there with our Reiki hands. This was a great way to integrate the news and to set a course of compassion for everyone involved. We ended the day feeling as connected as a group could be, holding this paradox that someone else on that day felt so separated from himself that he was able to kill.

Today when I heard the news, reminding me about the minute of silence for the people who have died and the ones who are wounded, i began to feel the sadness come over me. Finally I had to go to bed taking a hot water bottle with me to comfort my neck which had a funny crink in it! I gave myself Reiki, relaxed the muscles in my neck, and slept for a time. When I woke up, I felt better.

After lunch, I recorded a conversation with Susan Mitchell for the radio show. The subject was compassion. It was a good interview and I was able to sort through some of my response to this shock wave. Violence seems to start a wave that ripples out and I was rocked by it.

Imagine how it must be to be in this kind of violence day and night? I cannot. And because of this, I search myself for the understanding of what it must be like for the man who was at the epicenter of this violence. He is a part of me. I am a part of him. We are one.

I am at peace when I write this. But how can I live this? I want to push him out of me and declare that I have nothing of that in me. I only have disgust and disbelief. But I wonder, about the life I wish to lead? How can I include him the in the practice of the precepts? How can I include him in the One?

And this is my challenge. I hold this softly and gently. I pray for us all that our hearts remain open.

i remember the feeling of Saturday night's circle and remember the One.

with trust in all that is happening,

Phyllis

Christmas and its meaning

It is the 24th of December....and more than Christmas, I remember this as my grandmother Takata's birthday. Each year as this date passes through me, I realize that my gratitude is growing and growing.

I have been, without a doubt, looking back to last year and how I felt then. It was such an effort to get up and move about! My dear friends who had been giving me hands on treatment each day had a great idea....we would all stay in our pajamas and have a breakfast together! It was such fun and I realize, they came to my daily routine! It was so sweet! And then the rest of the day was spent together watching movies and snacking on good things that we brought together.

This year, I have not my usual energy for decorating and getting things together for Christmas, but I am not pushing myself either. This is good! We are having a quiet day tomorrow.....feeding the horses at the Ranch and I have the desire to go out and have a ceremony there. I used to do this when I lived in northern New Mexico. The air/space on the early morning of Christmas is so special somehow.....and I used to drive out to the edge of the canyon there and watch the sun come up....drumming and singing to the day.

This day is like a touch stone each year for me. It is about remembering all the good things that have happened. Enjoying family and friends and generosity. It is about birth and LIFE in a new way. This day is about heart and warmth and comfort. I have grown away from the midnight church services and the story of he manager.....and try to grow away from the madness of spending money! But the spirit of Christmas is with me and I am happy to be sharing this with you, whatever your feelings about Christmas are!

So this is why my gratitude is growing for the gifts that my grandmother has given to the world, to me, and to my family.
She gave these gifts by being herself. This is inspirational. We don't have to be anything but ourselves and the gifts came to those that we love and care for.

Alooooha

Well, I got home from NYC with the start of a kind of cold. I feel it was simple exhaustion. Something that my body does when there is nothing left. I stayed in bed for two days...then had to get up and out to prepare to come to Hawaii! Who did this schedule? Me! And it was not a good schedule for my body...but I have survived and am really looking at my next year's schedule to make sure I have GAPS!

I have recovered my energy and the cold like symptoms are gone. I have rested instead of being on the beach.....I have rested instead of lying in the sun....I have rested. And so I am much much better.

My time at the Four Seasons has been good and I am learning to be a practitioner! Working out of the Spa here and teaching a class to some members of the Spa staff has been a great experience! I see where I am not in training to sit for four treatments in a row! Tomorrow I have a full schedule and I am wondering....can I do it! Well, we will see!

The organizational meeting concerning the Ranch are continuing and if you have some moments to send me Reiki, I would appreciate it! The more clear I am .....the easier everything will be! Thank you for your continued support on this project.
I see that it will support my new life style in so many ways...that I am astonished that I did not see them before!

Aloha: In the Hawaiian language means affection, love, peace, compassion, mercy, hello, and good bye. What a wonderful word. And it is said with the heart and a lingering lilt to the voice.

Aloha ......Phyllis