Time is flying by and the temperatures outside here are in the triple digits! I am off to Wales for a couple of weeks in a few days. Another climate all together! However I will miss my desert garden, the beautiful skies, the hope for rain from the dark clouds in the afternoons, and my home. This last year has given me a taste of what it is like to have a LIFE! I love it! Many ideas and strategies for being at home while being present with people around the world are making their way to me these days. More about this later!
An update from the Femara situation. Last Monday, after changing my flight home from Austin to make the appointment, I saw Dr Dan Ruben, a Nathropathic Oncologist in Phoenix. He is very active in the professional circles to get a bridge formed between CAM therapies, Nathropathy and Allopathic Oncology. He talked very fast! Thank goodness Joyce was there to have another set of ears! But of course I came out of there with many tests to take, lots of supplements, and joy in my heart! I have been taking the supplements he gave me since then and feel good....better each day. He is treating me for recovery from the chemo and radiation as well as giving me the herbal estrogen inhibitor that is doing the same kind of job as the Femara. I had two bouts of blood letting and will take an iodine loading test before I go to Wales. When I return at the end of the month, I will have another appointment with him to hear about my test results and his Grand Plan! This is for six months.
I don't have the energy to write all the details now.....but I am happy because I feel that many of my questions were addressed and I feel good about this direction.
Luckily I can work a bit now since all of this will be paid by me.....I assume. And this is good too. I feel that it is time for me to take more of the participation for my care. I am still receiving Reiki treatments....as the two weeks that I decided as a Reiki vacation ended with me in tatters! Now I know I am not ready to be weaned from my hands on treatment.
Dr Ruben said to count on at least six more months of recovery time. Sigh. And it is good to know so I do not get impatient and upset with my body. it is really doing well, all things considered!
I went to the hair dresser yesterday and it was remarkable how much thicker my hair is! I am so excited. Now Dr Rubens is testing to see if my thyroid has been compromised and about my hair loss which happened as my cancer developed.
My finger nails are much much better! But when I went to get a pedicure, my toenails were weird. So I have taken time off from nail polish on my toes....it cheered me up in the dark nights and days of chemo! Now I need to let them breathe!
Thank you for your messages of support ......all is very helpful!
Bed time now! Love, Phyllis
2010-07-03
2010-06-20
Post Femara
Hello....so this is me today! I actually have a real haircut and now need another one! Things are growing and growing!
I have stopped taking the Femara and my oncologist is supportive! Yeah! So I will see a nathropathic oncologist on the 29th of June. I am hoping that he will be able to point me in a good direction that will assist my body to renovate as well as to not create a reoccurrence of the cancer. More later!
I am off to Austin to teach First and Second Degree. These will be the first classes for a year! And I am a little vulnerable but excited!
More later! Phyllis
2010-06-13
Femara is getting old
Hello from post radiation! And into hormone therapy. The main theory about hormone therapy is that the tumor was fed by estrogen. So there are three drugs now that interfere with the body's natural estrogen production. Femara is a drug especially for post menopausal women. The side effects are now reducing my ability to walk as it somehow has joint pain as a side effect. What I feel like is a very old woman! And I cannot sleep well because of the aching.
This is all in contrast to a week ago when I was walking for at least 35 minutes at a good pace on the treadmill and then stretching and exercising for another 30 minutes or more. I felt like my body was waking up! And feeling good. I was not eating as much and being able to look ahead to traveling a bit with excitement.
Now I couldn't face getting on the plane with a smile! But more with a companion to be sure I can make it to the plane!
So after reading the literature on the web and doing some muscle testing, I am going to suspend this therapy. My next strategy is to renew my Reiki treatments (I have been slacking off on them for the last week or two) and to find a naturopathic doctor to to into another form of treatment for the prevention of tumor formation. One of the main ways to do this is an iodine regime. I have a friend in Hawaii who also had a small tumor and she declined the chemo and radiation therapies. She has been on a treatment program from her naturopath for the last year or more. I will investigate this.
Right now I feel at more risk of heart failure from not moving, overweight, and my family's history of heart issues.
I know inside that getting my body back in shape, literally and figure-a tively, is important to my overall health. So I will need to go up against the Oncologist's protocol and her advice. I understand the protocol but the long term effect of this medication is too risky for me! Oh, I didn't tell you that this medication also costs $433/month! And I am supposed to take it for 5 years.
As a last note about the radiation......the skin discoloration on my right chest area is gone except for a little ring around my nipple....and this is fading fast. Every once and a while there are twinges of pain that are from the nerves coming back and regenerating (so the Oncologist says). I am fine with this process and for me, with all the Reiki and other support, I have felt this and the Chemo to be positive steps for me.
The hormone therapy does not.
Now the question is: Am I just getting too far away from the cancer? Am I burying the concern of another tumor or a metastasis? Am I being wise?
And on the other hand....I do not want my decision to be based out of fear of having cancer but out of caring for the overall health of my body. It is a tough place.
I shall be grappling with this issue for the next days. Thanks for listening! Phyllis
This is all in contrast to a week ago when I was walking for at least 35 minutes at a good pace on the treadmill and then stretching and exercising for another 30 minutes or more. I felt like my body was waking up! And feeling good. I was not eating as much and being able to look ahead to traveling a bit with excitement.
Now I couldn't face getting on the plane with a smile! But more with a companion to be sure I can make it to the plane!
So after reading the literature on the web and doing some muscle testing, I am going to suspend this therapy. My next strategy is to renew my Reiki treatments (I have been slacking off on them for the last week or two) and to find a naturopathic doctor to to into another form of treatment for the prevention of tumor formation. One of the main ways to do this is an iodine regime. I have a friend in Hawaii who also had a small tumor and she declined the chemo and radiation therapies. She has been on a treatment program from her naturopath for the last year or more. I will investigate this.
Right now I feel at more risk of heart failure from not moving, overweight, and my family's history of heart issues.
I know inside that getting my body back in shape, literally and figure-a tively, is important to my overall health. So I will need to go up against the Oncologist's protocol and her advice. I understand the protocol but the long term effect of this medication is too risky for me! Oh, I didn't tell you that this medication also costs $433/month! And I am supposed to take it for 5 years.
As a last note about the radiation......the skin discoloration on my right chest area is gone except for a little ring around my nipple....and this is fading fast. Every once and a while there are twinges of pain that are from the nerves coming back and regenerating (so the Oncologist says). I am fine with this process and for me, with all the Reiki and other support, I have felt this and the Chemo to be positive steps for me.
The hormone therapy does not.
Now the question is: Am I just getting too far away from the cancer? Am I burying the concern of another tumor or a metastasis? Am I being wise?
And on the other hand....I do not want my decision to be based out of fear of having cancer but out of caring for the overall health of my body. It is a tough place.
I shall be grappling with this issue for the next days. Thanks for listening! Phyllis
2010-06-04
Post treatment
We are heading for the first day of summer soon...June 21 and the weather here in southern Arizona is getting hot. It feels good. The plants outside are adjusting and my gardenias are in bloom! I went to get my hair cut yesterday and there was actually enough hair to cut! It is very short and I will try to get a photo on the blog soon! Such an amazing metamorphosis in and out.
My right chest area is has not had any tingling or itching sensation for a few days and the nipple area is getting less and less red. My arm is doing well and the lymph seems to be finding its way over and out! I have been receiving Lymph drainage massage each week and will continue to do so for another three weeks.
I am still walking and now the 35-45 minutes are going by very quickly! So wonderful. The last week I have been going to the fitness center here...and after the walking I am doing 20 minutes or so of floor exercises with a ball or lifting a few weights. I am going light for a while! It feels so good! My meals are slimming down to smaller ones with a lot more salad. It is good. I even have celery sticks already made in the frig! So my next project is losing weight.
I am also starting on hormone therapy which means that I take a very small pill each night. This pill keeps my body from producing estrogen which is what fed my tumor. This is good in the medical sense because they can do something about it. I am also going to start eating more seaweed, fish, and other sources of iodine...maybe even take some because I hear that iodine prevents the growth of tumors and also I think my thyroid could use some. Getting healthier than when I started this whole journey is my goal.
Joyce is gone to the Alliance conference and I am so glad to be home. It is such a draw, traveling....and it is good to be home. I am thrilled.
Now that this stage of my life is moving into another one, I am thinking about this Blog. What shall I do? Continue to write as I go along the unknown road of "what is next.?" I will see if I have inspiration.
I would appreciate a few more weeks of Reiki to move the chemo and the radiation out from my body and to have the hormone therapy started without issue. Not to mention my weight.
The fingernails are better! And the teeth too! Whew!
That's it for now. Love, Phyllis
My right chest area is has not had any tingling or itching sensation for a few days and the nipple area is getting less and less red. My arm is doing well and the lymph seems to be finding its way over and out! I have been receiving Lymph drainage massage each week and will continue to do so for another three weeks.
I am still walking and now the 35-45 minutes are going by very quickly! So wonderful. The last week I have been going to the fitness center here...and after the walking I am doing 20 minutes or so of floor exercises with a ball or lifting a few weights. I am going light for a while! It feels so good! My meals are slimming down to smaller ones with a lot more salad. It is good. I even have celery sticks already made in the frig! So my next project is losing weight.
I am also starting on hormone therapy which means that I take a very small pill each night. This pill keeps my body from producing estrogen which is what fed my tumor. This is good in the medical sense because they can do something about it. I am also going to start eating more seaweed, fish, and other sources of iodine...maybe even take some because I hear that iodine prevents the growth of tumors and also I think my thyroid could use some. Getting healthier than when I started this whole journey is my goal.
Joyce is gone to the Alliance conference and I am so glad to be home. It is such a draw, traveling....and it is good to be home. I am thrilled.
Now that this stage of my life is moving into another one, I am thinking about this Blog. What shall I do? Continue to write as I go along the unknown road of "what is next.?" I will see if I have inspiration.
I would appreciate a few more weeks of Reiki to move the chemo and the radiation out from my body and to have the hormone therapy started without issue. Not to mention my weight.
The fingernails are better! And the teeth too! Whew!
That's it for now. Love, Phyllis
2010-05-30
One more!
Dear Readers and supporters,
One more treatment on Tuesday! Monday is a national holiday here in the USA. It is memorial day, a day started after the civil war (Politically correct name....the War Between the States) way back in 1866. This is the verse: “We cherish too, the poppy red / That grows on fields where valor led, / It seems to signal to the skies / That blood of heroes never dies." I have to say that this holiday will be different for me. I have realized that heros are not just those who die on the battlefield of wars....as we all know. They are everywhere and in our daily lives. I will have a ceremony for all heros tomorrow....including you. And me. A part of me has left, gone in on the battlefield of living and dying. The part of me that is living has the memory of the part that died. And this gives me the chance for compassion, deeper understanding, and greater appreciation.
Today I went to the fitness center near our home in Green Valley....and had a great workout. No stress. No resistance. And almost fun. It did feel good. And I can still walk and move around, which is great. I am looking forward to going again tomorrow and the next day and the next day! The walking is great for me. I feel a different relationship with my body! Some would say, Of Course!
On Tuesday, I go in the morning for the last radiation treatment and then in the afternoon, to the Oncologist who will start me on the hormone therapy. Some resistance has come up, of course, but will be melted and I will take the pills, giving them Reiki Reiki Reiki!
I will continue to have doctor appointments and check ups for reoccurrence for the next year. This is a critical time for me and will be a re-entry into a different life! How it will be different is not clear yet....just I know I cannot go back but am taking the next steps forward. I have had days recently of anxiety and some wondering. Makes me want to go on a long drive down the highway! But I am not doing this right now....and will stay here and see what comes to me here. This is a great discipline!
Time for sleep. Good night! Phyllis
One more treatment on Tuesday! Monday is a national holiday here in the USA. It is memorial day, a day started after the civil war (Politically correct name....the War Between the States) way back in 1866. This is the verse: “We cherish too, the poppy red / That grows on fields where valor led, / It seems to signal to the skies / That blood of heroes never dies." I have to say that this holiday will be different for me. I have realized that heros are not just those who die on the battlefield of wars....as we all know. They are everywhere and in our daily lives. I will have a ceremony for all heros tomorrow....including you. And me. A part of me has left, gone in on the battlefield of living and dying. The part of me that is living has the memory of the part that died. And this gives me the chance for compassion, deeper understanding, and greater appreciation.
Today I went to the fitness center near our home in Green Valley....and had a great workout. No stress. No resistance. And almost fun. It did feel good. And I can still walk and move around, which is great. I am looking forward to going again tomorrow and the next day and the next day! The walking is great for me. I feel a different relationship with my body! Some would say, Of Course!
On Tuesday, I go in the morning for the last radiation treatment and then in the afternoon, to the Oncologist who will start me on the hormone therapy. Some resistance has come up, of course, but will be melted and I will take the pills, giving them Reiki Reiki Reiki!
I will continue to have doctor appointments and check ups for reoccurrence for the next year. This is a critical time for me and will be a re-entry into a different life! How it will be different is not clear yet....just I know I cannot go back but am taking the next steps forward. I have had days recently of anxiety and some wondering. Makes me want to go on a long drive down the highway! But I am not doing this right now....and will stay here and see what comes to me here. This is a great discipline!
Time for sleep. Good night! Phyllis
2010-05-19
7 more treatments to go!
Hello out there! Well, I have 7 more treatments to go and these will be concentrated on the area where the surgeon took out the tumor. This is just above and a little to my right of my nipple (kind of shy about saying it but don't want you to be shy about treating it!). They did a trial run the other day and this part of my breast just turned almost black! Was scary. But with Reiki and the ointment, it is fine now...and was a few hours later! What a miracle!
I have been trying to work on a schedule for 2011 as well as the two trips I am taking in 2010. This is more of a challenge than I thought! One of the challenges is to let go of many of my dreams....like the European student gathering. I feel that the time is not right for this....people are feeling the financial pressure, I am uncertain of their willingness to make this gathering a priority, I don't have the energy to organize it now and to imagine committing to being there, and on and on. I wonder if this is because I have some latent guilt feelings about canceling my schedule after my diagnosis? I shall muse on this....and send Reiki to explore this place in myself. One of the great gifts I have received is the acceptance and compassion from everyone who has been touched by my change of schedules and needful change of lifestyle. This has been easier to receive than I thought it would be!
Good for me!
Speaking of....I had a surprise visit from Bunny Sjogren, Jane Mutti, and Dawn Mills for a couple of days. I am so happy! And they are here now to give me a treatment! Time to sign off!
with my appreciation for all that is happening,
Phyllis
I have been trying to work on a schedule for 2011 as well as the two trips I am taking in 2010. This is more of a challenge than I thought! One of the challenges is to let go of many of my dreams....like the European student gathering. I feel that the time is not right for this....people are feeling the financial pressure, I am uncertain of their willingness to make this gathering a priority, I don't have the energy to organize it now and to imagine committing to being there, and on and on. I wonder if this is because I have some latent guilt feelings about canceling my schedule after my diagnosis? I shall muse on this....and send Reiki to explore this place in myself. One of the great gifts I have received is the acceptance and compassion from everyone who has been touched by my change of schedules and needful change of lifestyle. This has been easier to receive than I thought it would be!
Good for me!
Speaking of....I had a surprise visit from Bunny Sjogren, Jane Mutti, and Dawn Mills for a couple of days. I am so happy! And they are here now to give me a treatment! Time to sign off!
with my appreciation for all that is happening,
Phyllis
2010-05-13
Radiation hotting up!
Two and a half weeks left to go on the radiation! It is so amazing how time goes by. The treatments have been fairly uneventful. Until yesterday. This is typical for the treatment process though, I understand from the Doctor. This is when my skin starts reacting to the radiation. And it is. Sue Leibold came to see me and brought some ointment she uses in her work but it is mainly used for radiation burns. And this is the same ointment that the clinic here uses. So I am on to this.
The sensation is more of an uncomfortable tightness of my skin under my arm and along the outside of my right breast. I can see that given 12 more treatments this will get more intense now. I am happy to receive Reiki these days and am so grateful for the continued support in Reiki.
The other issue for me is my gum condition. Not having great teeth and gums in the first place, the chemo therapy has caused a not great result in my gums. I am so glad for my sister who is a dental hygienist. Besides special toothpaste and mouth wash..and a great electric toothbrush, she has encouraged my dental care through this whole endeavor. I just had my teeth cleaned for the first time in 9 months! My teeth were actually not bad, but the gums have suffered. Many of my teeth are loose! So I am hoping that the cleaning will put the gums back on the road to health and I can encourage them with Reiki to stay connected to those teeth! I will have a dental appointment today to assist my teeth in holding on longer.
I must watch my activities! So in the last two weeks I have overdone it a couple of days and my body really gets it! So sleep and lying around is the only "cure." Monitoring myself is not easy....but I do have direct and clear feedback.
Other than all this, I am getting back into the swing of things on the computer...and have increased my computer time to two or three hours a day....sometimes. I am also trying to organize two trips...one in July and one in October. They seemed quite straightforward, but I see that I am not really 100% so it goes slower and also I am making mistakes!
Looking at my 2011 I wonder what this will be like. I have the possibility of working at the Ranch as much as I wish if I schedule it now. I am excited by this.....but the question is "What do I offer?" What is wanted out there? Any ideas or input from you all?!
I do read the comments and appreciate them!
Well, it is early in the morning and now time to go back to bed!
More in a few days. Thanks for being there! It is great to share and to know that there are those who care listening.
Til next time, Phyllis
The sensation is more of an uncomfortable tightness of my skin under my arm and along the outside of my right breast. I can see that given 12 more treatments this will get more intense now. I am happy to receive Reiki these days and am so grateful for the continued support in Reiki.
The other issue for me is my gum condition. Not having great teeth and gums in the first place, the chemo therapy has caused a not great result in my gums. I am so glad for my sister who is a dental hygienist. Besides special toothpaste and mouth wash..and a great electric toothbrush, she has encouraged my dental care through this whole endeavor. I just had my teeth cleaned for the first time in 9 months! My teeth were actually not bad, but the gums have suffered. Many of my teeth are loose! So I am hoping that the cleaning will put the gums back on the road to health and I can encourage them with Reiki to stay connected to those teeth! I will have a dental appointment today to assist my teeth in holding on longer.
I must watch my activities! So in the last two weeks I have overdone it a couple of days and my body really gets it! So sleep and lying around is the only "cure." Monitoring myself is not easy....but I do have direct and clear feedback.
Other than all this, I am getting back into the swing of things on the computer...and have increased my computer time to two or three hours a day....sometimes. I am also trying to organize two trips...one in July and one in October. They seemed quite straightforward, but I see that I am not really 100% so it goes slower and also I am making mistakes!
Looking at my 2011 I wonder what this will be like. I have the possibility of working at the Ranch as much as I wish if I schedule it now. I am excited by this.....but the question is "What do I offer?" What is wanted out there? Any ideas or input from you all?!
I do read the comments and appreciate them!
Well, it is early in the morning and now time to go back to bed!
More in a few days. Thanks for being there! It is great to share and to know that there are those who care listening.
Til next time, Phyllis
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