2010-08-22

Photos of holiday


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I am trying to figure out how to add captions to the photos....meanwhile, The top photo is a birthday party at Chelsea's in Kaslo with Wanja and her sister, Ametist. The next one is me in the Slocan Lake in New Denver BC. The water is so clear that I can see the bottom rocks far out in the lake. The water was "warm" this year! Then there is Joyce and I on the New Denver golf course and Julie, my niece by marriage in her outrageous rainbow garden....and me too!

I had a great Birthday! The golf game was fun and I really did well. We had lots of slow people ahead so got in lots of rest. Will try to go back to this same course on Saturday for another 9 holes before all the meetings!

It was a great birthday....and imagine I can be having these for another 20 years! Love, Phyllis

A year anniversary

It is early in the morning on the 22 of August. My birthday. Last year at this time, I was recovering from my surgery, greeting people who were arriving for the OGM Retreat and my birthday celebration, and wondering whether I was going to be able to travel to Almaty Kazachstan! I still am recovering my attention and concentration, my physical body is gradually getting stronger, and mentally I am in a different place. It is good to have taken a week to be in Canada and to have such a wonderful holiday.

On the anniversary of my surgery, I was in Nelson, BC, Canada, where I lived in the early 1980s. I was able to visit with long time friends, some of whom did not know about my journey with cancer. It was good to look back, recount my journey and reflect on it. It has been such a gift and I feel that I am in such a good place with myself. And to visit with my Canadian family....a time to renew connection and, to again, feel the blessings of my time with Michael Hartley during the 1980s.

Now I am back in northern Idaho where I lived recently and still have my office. I am resting, taking time for myself, and contemplating what is next. The answer always is "I don't know!" Something is starting to come and I don't know the expression of the energy or where it will lead me. So the best thing for me is to concentrate on losing weight, keeping on the program from the Nathropath (which I am doing with pleasure), and being conscious of exercise whenever possible.

In celebration of another year in this life, I am going with Joyce to play golf at Stoneridge. This is a wonderful golf course near here where I learned to play golf in the company of some great people! Then I will see if I have the energy to go out for dinner or not.

Thank you for your continued attention and support. The greatest birthday gift for me would be Reiki.

Looking forward to the rest of today!

Phyllis

PS Hoping to upload some photos in the next posting.......

2010-08-05

a month later

Well, dear friends. It is amazing that a month has sped by. The trip over the water was a bit of a torture. I realized that I have not been in crowds of people and confined the the airplane with most of the seats taken was a shock. Finally I got tired enough to sleep for a few hours. Relief! I also found my airplane persona and was okay for the rest of the flight. I had a delay in getting to Denver due to weather in the Denver area.....so we were late taking off and I arrived in Heathrow about 2.5 hours late. I was really not good. So I decided, after a little sandwich and water, that I would stay in the airport area for the night. This was also encouraged because my bags did not make it with me on the flight. So I found a great hotel, nice Chinese to have a good dinner, and then CRASHED! It was a pretty good hotel for a discounted price so I had a great bed and plenty of room. After a great sleep and rest, I picked up my bags and away I went to Suffolk.

I had a quick 2 day visit with dear friend Jessica...then on my way to Devon, picking up Kristin along the way. We spent a lovely two/three days there and then to Wales for the training class. This time was intense, a good exercise in balancing the work, my rest, and receiving what I needed to stay above the exhaustion line. I did pretty well the first week and then I had a bit of a stretch on the weekend....so I took some rest time afterwards and it was good. However, I learned how much it takes for me to teach, to be present, and to be in another environment other than home! I had the good fortune to be staying with another dear friend who really took good care of me and the group. Thank you Kathryn!

On coming home, I decided I would see if I could upgrade my flight...which did work out! So I had a business class seat on the way home and was I lucky! Every seat in the plane was occupied! So i would have really had a hard time energetically and emotionally on the way home in economy.

Joyce was great when I arrived home.....she gave me a massage and put me to bed! No arguing there! And I slept for three and a half days. When I got to a week home, I started to feel rested and here. The return home was easy.

All this time I have been following the protocol from the nathropath. For the most part it was not bad....but I did not know how much the fatigue was due to a side effect or from actually being tired....as I had the good sense to start at 10 most mornings, had lots of reiki treatments, and good food. I started to have more aches in my joints and up many times during the night.

Last Tuesday I had an appointment with the Nathropath and another one for my other health issues....namely losing weight. So it was a long afternoon in the Drs office but I came out with good feeling of being cared for as an individual, being listened to, and having a program that seemed to be fitted to me. The tests that were taken came back with interesting info. The genetics test showed basically that I am not genetically prone to cancer....whcih gives me the reassurance that my theory of what I call environmental causes were in fact the most strong factors. This is good because I have an opportunity to keep on the ground, stay more at home, and so on.

To check on the fatigue and nightly wake ups....the Dr has asked me to stop the night time meds for 5 days and then I will add them back slowly one by one to see which one is the ONE. What a simple way of determining if this is truly a side effect and so on. This is why I am happy to be with these Drs .....because I don't have to "suck it up" (a terrible hip way to say "put up with") but am listened to and something happens. Yesterday, my first day off the meds....I felt better energetically than all the weeks before. So interesting. I will see what happens in the next days.

All in all, this is such an exercise in balance between form and essence. What is my calling? What supports the calling? What is the balance between doing and being? And all those kinds of questions!!!

My weight loss now is compromised by this fatigue that is built upon some lowish levels of basic energy/metabolism issues that will be addressed after the next set of test results come back. All in all, I am happy with this path at the moment. I now have enough of everything to take on my next journey north.

Joyce and I will be leaving on Sunday for a road trip to Nelson Canada (holiday) and to northern Idaho where I will be meeting with the Alliance Board, the OGM retreat, and Foundation Board....as well as taking care of the office business, seeing friends, and hanging out in Idaho. Should be a good trip.

Joyce found a great little blender to take with us for our morning shakes as prescribed by the nathropath.....and I am getting our road music together.....the car is tested, washed, and raring to go also! Joyce is taking care of herself by taking her bike and her golf clubs. I am also taking mine and hope to play a couple of rounds while in BC. I am going out tomorrow to hit a basket of balls and see if this is a reality thing or not! Sure sounds fun!

My right arm and breast continue to heal and the arm is really good. no swelling or pain for a while.

Reiki seems to be going to my legs and hips these days. It seems that this is critical now...and I would love to walk! Can't believe I am saying this! So if you have time to send.....a little attention tot he legs and hips would be great.....as well as my thyroid. Getting healthy is going to be a much longer process than I anticipated.....so it is good to have Reiki patience! Another one of my challenges!

My heart is full of joy at the strength and kindness of the world wide support team I have! I am so lucky! Thank you.

with love and appreciation,

Phyllis

PS my hair is really getting thick now! And a bit unruly! So STRAight.....that it wants to stick up at the back. Guess I will go through the process of letting it grow a bit. It is fun to see hair again though.

2010-07-03

A new doctor

Time is flying by and the temperatures outside here are in the triple digits! I am off to Wales for a couple of weeks in a few days. Another climate all together! However I will miss my desert garden, the beautiful skies, the hope for rain from the dark clouds in the afternoons, and my home. This last year has given me a taste of what it is like to have a LIFE! I love it! Many ideas and strategies for being at home while being present with people around the world are making their way to me these days. More about this later!

An update from the Femara situation. Last Monday, after changing my flight home from Austin to make the appointment, I saw Dr Dan Ruben, a Nathropathic Oncologist in Phoenix. He is very active in the professional circles to get a bridge formed between CAM therapies, Nathropathy and Allopathic Oncology. He talked very fast! Thank goodness Joyce was there to have another set of ears! But of course I came out of there with many tests to take, lots of supplements, and joy in my heart! I have been taking the supplements he gave me since then and feel good....better each day. He is treating me for recovery from the chemo and radiation as well as giving me the herbal estrogen inhibitor that is doing the same kind of job as the Femara. I had two bouts of blood letting and will take an iodine loading test before I go to Wales. When I return at the end of the month, I will have another appointment with him to hear about my test results and his Grand Plan! This is for six months.

I don't have the energy to write all the details now.....but I am happy because I feel that many of my questions were addressed and I feel good about this direction.

Luckily I can work a bit now since all of this will be paid by me.....I assume. And this is good too. I feel that it is time for me to take more of the participation for my care. I am still receiving Reiki treatments....as the two weeks that I decided as a Reiki vacation ended with me in tatters! Now I know I am not ready to be weaned from my hands on treatment.

Dr Ruben said to count on at least six more months of recovery time. Sigh. And it is good to know so I do not get impatient and upset with my body. it is really doing well, all things considered!

I went to the hair dresser yesterday and it was remarkable how much thicker my hair is! I am so excited. Now Dr Rubens is testing to see if my thyroid has been compromised and about my hair loss which happened as my cancer developed.

My finger nails are much much better! But when I went to get a pedicure, my toenails were weird. So I have taken time off from nail polish on my toes....it cheered me up in the dark nights and days of chemo! Now I need to let them breathe!

Thank you for your messages of support ......all is very helpful!

Bed time now! Love, Phyllis

2010-06-20

Post Femara




Hello....so this is me today! I actually have a real haircut and now need another one! Things are growing and growing!

I have stopped taking the Femara and my oncologist is supportive! Yeah! So I will see a nathropathic oncologist on the 29th of June. I am hoping that he will be able to point me in a good direction that will assist my body to renovate as well as to not create a reoccurrence of the cancer. More later!

I am off to Austin to teach First and Second Degree. These will be the first classes for a year! And I am a little vulnerable but excited!

More later! Phyllis

2010-06-13

Femara is getting old

Hello from post radiation! And into hormone therapy. The main theory about hormone therapy is that the tumor was fed by estrogen. So there are three drugs now that interfere with the body's natural estrogen production. Femara is a drug especially for post menopausal women. The side effects are now reducing my ability to walk as it somehow has joint pain as a side effect. What I feel like is a very old woman! And I cannot sleep well because of the aching.

This is all in contrast to a week ago when I was walking for at least 35 minutes at a good pace on the treadmill and then stretching and exercising for another 30 minutes or more. I felt like my body was waking up! And feeling good. I was not eating as much and being able to look ahead to traveling a bit with excitement.

Now I couldn't face getting on the plane with a smile! But more with a companion to be sure I can make it to the plane!

So after reading the literature on the web and doing some muscle testing, I am going to suspend this therapy. My next strategy is to renew my Reiki treatments (I have been slacking off on them for the last week or two) and to find a naturopathic doctor to to into another form of treatment for the prevention of tumor formation. One of the main ways to do this is an iodine regime. I have a friend in Hawaii who also had a small tumor and she declined the chemo and radiation therapies. She has been on a treatment program from her naturopath for the last year or more. I will investigate this.

Right now I feel at more risk of heart failure from not moving, overweight, and my family's history of heart issues.
I know inside that getting my body back in shape, literally and figure-a tively, is important to my overall health. So I will need to go up against the Oncologist's protocol and her advice. I understand the protocol but the long term effect of this medication is too risky for me! Oh, I didn't tell you that this medication also costs $433/month! And I am supposed to take it for 5 years.

As a last note about the radiation......the skin discoloration on my right chest area is gone except for a little ring around my nipple....and this is fading fast. Every once and a while there are twinges of pain that are from the nerves coming back and regenerating (so the Oncologist says). I am fine with this process and for me, with all the Reiki and other support, I have felt this and the Chemo to be positive steps for me.

The hormone therapy does not.

Now the question is: Am I just getting too far away from the cancer? Am I burying the concern of another tumor or a metastasis? Am I being wise?

And on the other hand....I do not want my decision to be based out of fear of having cancer but out of caring for the overall health of my body. It is a tough place.

I shall be grappling with this issue for the next days. Thanks for listening! Phyllis

2010-06-04

Post treatment

We are heading for the first day of summer soon...June 21 and the weather here in southern Arizona is getting hot. It feels good. The plants outside are adjusting and my gardenias are in bloom! I went to get my hair cut yesterday and there was actually enough hair to cut! It is very short and I will try to get a photo on the blog soon! Such an amazing metamorphosis in and out.

My right chest area is has not had any tingling or itching sensation for a few days and the nipple area is getting less and less red. My arm is doing well and the lymph seems to be finding its way over and out! I have been receiving Lymph drainage massage each week and will continue to do so for another three weeks.

I am still walking and now the 35-45 minutes are going by very quickly! So wonderful. The last week I have been going to the fitness center here...and after the walking I am doing 20 minutes or so of floor exercises with a ball or lifting a few weights. I am going light for a while! It feels so good! My meals are slimming down to smaller ones with a lot more salad. It is good. I even have celery sticks already made in the frig! So my next project is losing weight.

I am also starting on hormone therapy which means that I take a very small pill each night. This pill keeps my body from producing estrogen which is what fed my tumor. This is good in the medical sense because they can do something about it. I am also going to start eating more seaweed, fish, and other sources of iodine...maybe even take some because I hear that iodine prevents the growth of tumors and also I think my thyroid could use some. Getting healthier than when I started this whole journey is my goal.

Joyce is gone to the Alliance conference and I am so glad to be home. It is such a draw, traveling....and it is good to be home. I am thrilled.

Now that this stage of my life is moving into another one, I am thinking about this Blog. What shall I do? Continue to write as I go along the unknown road of "what is next.?" I will see if I have inspiration.

I would appreciate a few more weeks of Reiki to move the chemo and the radiation out from my body and to have the hormone therapy started without issue. Not to mention my weight.

The fingernails are better! And the teeth too! Whew!

That's it for now. Love, Phyllis