First off, my health. In the last months I feel I have been experimenting in "being well." I have found this experiment to be stressful. I didn't know this until this week! Now I am sitting here a little disillusioned about my naturopath and wondering how I can find my way through this puzzling landscape. This all has just come to me in the last 24 hours.
To recap, after the surgery in August 2009, in theory I did not have cancer because it was taken out. The odd thing about this....is that in my mind I had cancer....whether it was in me physically. And there was a good degree of uncertainty about this state of not having cancer therefore the chemo and the radiation. At the point of starting the hormone therapy, my body baulked and I went to the naturopath. Since July or August of 2010, I have been on this regime of supplements and vitamins. These have proven by his standards to be effective.
the question now is .....do I still have cancer? A more accurate question is .....Does my body/mind still have the patterning of cancer? I find this to be so present lately.
What brought this on? While I was on my trip to Almaty....I realized that I missed the daily reiki treatments and the palpable stream of distant Reiki that I felt coming to me over the first 8 months of my treatment time.....since then, in increments, the stream has lessened. I am not complaining...for I totally understand that there are others who are more critical and in need of attention. Also the question, how long shall I keep sending Reiki? Do I need to have cancer or a unwell state of mind to continue receiving energy, including the flow of financial energy?
When will I have returned to health?
On one hand I feel I am healthier than before. I am more aware of my body's limitations and listen more to its rhythms. I am willing to spend money and time to care for my body...to treat it with consciousness. This feels like a healing.
And the other hand wonders when I will be out of the woods energetically of cancer? Will there be a time when I will wake up without a thought of cancer during my day. This does not feel like fear, but more an awareness that the event was not far off in the past and the potential of a visit is still lingering. Thus the hormone treatment. Does the treatment keep this going or is it real. I have started to hold this question with great curiosity.
This experience is still changing me. It has not gone back into the store cupboard of things that might happen. The cloud of cancer mind is still around.....and the healing or bringing to wholeness of this part of my being is still going on. Do I have cancer? Am I still under treatment? Am I healthy? All these questions that are frequently asked of me elicit different responses but touch the place in me of uncertainty.
I suspect that this is a good place to be....at least to realize that disease and conditions do not just go away because the physical body has been changed to be in a non tumor state. A potent experience of mind/body ad spirit healing. And I am not quite there yet! A sober thought and a good one. So the next step is to have compassion for myself, take conscious care, and be aware of the healing that is continuing.
with humbleness! Phyllis
2011-11-11
2011-11-05
Back again!
Dear Readers, After all these months, I am finally sitting down to write. So much has happened in the last 6 months that I will make this a series of writings. I know it sounds trite when I say that I have been thinking of you...meaning to write....and not doing it. My guess is that I have been in another phase of my life.....trying to get back to "normal" and finding out in the last weeks that there is no normal.....and that I need to write. I am glad you are out there listening/reading!
Hopefully you have not completely despaired and given up on this blog. Obviously the topic is more me and not so much about my health...though this is always with me these days. More on this later.
In brief, I have spent much of my energy in the last year on the Reiki Home Project. You can read more about this on www.reikihome.org. It is a growing project and I hope you will find your place of contribution and commitment to this. This is where Reiki is leading me these days....despite my own retraining forces!
I just returned home from a 7 week rip to Almaty Kazkhstan...with a stop over in London coming and going. The trip was great and I am in my third day of recovery at home. I am amazed at how much time it takes to recover!
And I have put my little villa up for rent this year.....so it can earn a little money and I have the funds to keep it up in the way I would like. It is an exciting passage, as for the last two years, it has been there for visitors who have come to give me Reiki and care for me. Now I am in another phase....finding out that the Reiki is still important in my daily care and that I am glad I don't need to have people come and care for me. This experience taught me so much.
Well, I have broken the ice.....in other words...I have started writing again. I will be back with you again soon. Thank you for all of your emails encouraging me to write!
with gratitude,
Phyllis
Hopefully you have not completely despaired and given up on this blog. Obviously the topic is more me and not so much about my health...though this is always with me these days. More on this later.
In brief, I have spent much of my energy in the last year on the Reiki Home Project. You can read more about this on www.reikihome.org. It is a growing project and I hope you will find your place of contribution and commitment to this. This is where Reiki is leading me these days....despite my own retraining forces!
I just returned home from a 7 week rip to Almaty Kazkhstan...with a stop over in London coming and going. The trip was great and I am in my third day of recovery at home. I am amazed at how much time it takes to recover!
And I have put my little villa up for rent this year.....so it can earn a little money and I have the funds to keep it up in the way I would like. It is an exciting passage, as for the last two years, it has been there for visitors who have come to give me Reiki and care for me. Now I am in another phase....finding out that the Reiki is still important in my daily care and that I am glad I don't need to have people come and care for me. This experience taught me so much.
Well, I have broken the ice.....in other words...I have started writing again. I will be back with you again soon. Thank you for all of your emails encouraging me to write!
with gratitude,
Phyllis
2011-05-20
Latest News
It has been a while since I have written. So many things are happening. I had three visits to different doctors and my health is gaining. I am still taking the natural hormone suppressants and the blood work said that my estrogen is rising a bit. This is on the edge and so my Nathropath has increased the Myomin dosage which has been okay....no side effects. I am to have another blood test at the end of the month to check to see if this is making a difference. I realized that I had also become a bit lazy with one of the supplements, not taking it everyday....so now I have a different system which is working! Good!
Also my physical energy seems to be coming back and I am very happy about this. This will help with losing my weight. I have lost some but now am at another plateau where physical movement will hopefully push me into another ten pounds off! I am going for 30 more pounds! This is such uphill work and I have to keep trusting, receiving treatments, and having a good attitude towards myself.
The work I have been doing for the last 7 months has come to a turning point! The Prospectus which puts out the Reiki Home and the Kenyon Ranch Retreat has been published on line~It will be in 8 languages. English, German, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Russian, Italian, and Dutch. We have opened our hearts and vision to the world community. It is a bit scary but also exciting! Seems like the same energy feeling but with different future images. So I will trust in the work that this international group of Reiki students have created and in the timing of it all. Some think that this is a bad time to be collecting contributions. Maybe. I feel that this is the time of the community and we are ready to give support to the system and to Reiki for the gifts received. There are so many! And I am in this place of knowing that this is the only thing I am to do right now. It is a strange feeling and sometimes challenging.
The interesting experience is that is is similar to the feeling I had two years ago when embarking on the cancer treatment....that this was what I needed to give myself to....with all my attention and love. And so I did.
How many times is thank you not enough.....or said to let you know that I am grateful for the difference in my life that you have made! An awkward way to put this but in the proper order for me! This March some Russian students came and gave me gifts. They said in Russian, "May the hands of the giver always be full." This touched my heart and soul.
I feel that this is my posture when I think of this Reiki Home and my own participation in it. May my hands always be full as a give! I so appreciate this Reiki practice as my hands always feel full. I am training my mind to pay attention and notice this feeling so I do not fall into fear and doubt. Such a simple way of being full.
with all my gratitude for your full hands.
Phyllis
Also my physical energy seems to be coming back and I am very happy about this. This will help with losing my weight. I have lost some but now am at another plateau where physical movement will hopefully push me into another ten pounds off! I am going for 30 more pounds! This is such uphill work and I have to keep trusting, receiving treatments, and having a good attitude towards myself.
The work I have been doing for the last 7 months has come to a turning point! The Prospectus which puts out the Reiki Home and the Kenyon Ranch Retreat has been published on line~It will be in 8 languages. English, German, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Russian, Italian, and Dutch. We have opened our hearts and vision to the world community. It is a bit scary but also exciting! Seems like the same energy feeling but with different future images. So I will trust in the work that this international group of Reiki students have created and in the timing of it all. Some think that this is a bad time to be collecting contributions. Maybe. I feel that this is the time of the community and we are ready to give support to the system and to Reiki for the gifts received. There are so many! And I am in this place of knowing that this is the only thing I am to do right now. It is a strange feeling and sometimes challenging.
The interesting experience is that is is similar to the feeling I had two years ago when embarking on the cancer treatment....that this was what I needed to give myself to....with all my attention and love. And so I did.
How many times is thank you not enough.....or said to let you know that I am grateful for the difference in my life that you have made! An awkward way to put this but in the proper order for me! This March some Russian students came and gave me gifts. They said in Russian, "May the hands of the giver always be full." This touched my heart and soul.
I feel that this is my posture when I think of this Reiki Home and my own participation in it. May my hands always be full as a give! I so appreciate this Reiki practice as my hands always feel full. I am training my mind to pay attention and notice this feeling so I do not fall into fear and doubt. Such a simple way of being full.
with all my gratitude for your full hands.
Phyllis
2011-04-23
Spiritual Homeland
what is a spiritual homeland? I have been using this phrase to describe how I feel about the northern part of New Mexico. This last week I had five days there and had this experience again. I suppose it means this is where my spirit feels at home. The sensations are deep and in resonance within me. What I have found out is that I don't need to live there to access it. For this I need courage and willingness to accept the present and trust the nature of the path.
The first photo from the bottom up is of the mountain "pedernal." This mountain is dark and strong because it is made of flint while all the other land around it is limestone and sandstone (see the second photo). The path is long and beckons me....though I don't know where I am going or the goal that maybe out there. The nature of the path is what I love and is where I find my courage.
The programs on the radio show about service seems to have awakened some kind of service process inside of me. I am getting 350-600 spam messages a day with the word service in different languages at the beginning.....servico@..... ect. It is an odd thing. And I feel that until I have a true insight, these spam messages will continue! This is also messing with the emails that come into this inbox and I trust that I have retrieved all of them.
A friend in Santa Fe and I were speaking of service. He said that service is done not to fulfill a need, but to give from the heart. This also was a piece of the puzzle that I needed. I am processing this in relationship to the Japan question! Why does this haunt me so!? Then I realize the situation is a great lesson. I must stay quiet and open in order to receive the message.
I am in days of rest from my journey and integrating the substance of what I have received in traveling my spiritual homeland.
Phyllis
2011-04-08
more about water
Hello from the desert! The news is still with Japan and there are many people who are sharing their lives and resources with those in Japan. This is beautiful. And I am still with the water. Kathy Araki sent me this Youtube link...it is a film of the tidal wave that came into Sendai. All I could think about is the power of water.....only water seeking its natural boundary! What amazing things it can do just by being itself! There is no emotional anger, violence, or revenge. It is simply water. Now, more than ever, I am getting into the place of Ho'oponopono or forgiveness with the water. In my last radio show with Maureen OShaunnessy from Hawaii...we spoke of the events in Japan and working with the water.
The best thing I can do, I believe is to take back my projections of my own fear, wish for control, and unwillingness to live as a natural part of our earth which may have gone to the water, to the earthquake, and to the uncertainty of life itself.
This five minute film is great for dong ceremony and healing with water. http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=c3rqPPJPwLg
Join you in the water! Phyllis
The best thing I can do, I believe is to take back my projections of my own fear, wish for control, and unwillingness to live as a natural part of our earth which may have gone to the water, to the earthquake, and to the uncertainty of life itself.
This five minute film is great for dong ceremony and healing with water. http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=c3rqPPJPwLg
Join you in the water! Phyllis
2011-04-03
for Japan
After much soul searching and sweet moments with people on the phone, email and skype about sending Reiki and about somehow holding out a hand to help the people, there is a way to use our Reiki to change the situation that does not compromise the dignity nor the privacy of the people. This is to treat the water. I will include Dr. Emoto's message to water.
One of the main things that has broken down is the lack of drinking water and the water that came and took the houses and tossed ships like they were little twigs. Water is a critical topic and I believe Dr. Emoto that we can shift the energy and substance of water, allow it to be forgiven as well as clear again. Reiki, along with his practice and philosophy, seems like a way for us to participate. Even though March 30th has passed.....sending Reiki everyday to the water around and in the nuclear plant, sending Reiki to the wave that came as the tsunami, sending Reiki to the fresh water and changing it from stagnant to clear. And sending our Reiki to be sure that there is enough water for everyone.
The photos I have included from bottom to top are a closeup of water from the sea around Wales, the crystal clear fresh water of a mountain lake in Canada, and the water of the Pacific Ocean at sunset. You can use these images as you send your Reiki.
If this appeals to you, then pass it on!
with appreciation for your comments and emails,
May the water be the messenger and bringer of Life,
Phyllis
by MASARU EMOTO on 30 MARCH, 2011
Please send your prayers of love and gratitude to water at the nuclear
plants in Fukushima, Japan.
By the massive earthquakes of Magnitude 9 and surreal massive
tsunamis, more than 10,000 people are still missing, even now. It has
been 16 days already since the disaster happened. What makes it worse
is that water at the reactors of Fukushima Nuclear Plants started to
leak, and it’s contaminating the ocean, air and water molecule of
surrounding areas.
Human wisdom has not been able to do much to solve the problem, but we
are only trying to cool down the anger of radioactive materials in the
reactors by discharging water to them.
Is there really nothing else to do?
I think there is. During over twenty year research of hado measuring
and water crystal photographic technology, I have been witnessing that
water can turn positive when it receives pure vibration of human
prayer no matter how far away it is.
Energy formula of Albert Einstein, E=MC2 really means that Energy =
number of people and the square of people’s consciousness.
Now is the time to understand the true meaning. Let us all join the
prayer ceremony as fellow citizens of the planet earth. I would like
to ask all people, not just in Japan, but all around the world to
please help us to find a way out the crisis of this planet!!
The prayer procedure is as follows.
Name of ceremony:
Let’s send our thoughts of love and gratitude to all water in the
nuclear plants in Fukushima.
Day and Time:
March 31st, 2011 (Thursday)
12:00 noon in each time zone
Please say the following phrase:
“The water of Fukushima Nuclear Plant, we are sorry to make you
suffer. Please forgive us. We thank you, and we love you.”
Please say it aloud or in your mind. Repeat it three times as you put your hands
together in a prayer position. Please offer your sincere prayer.
Thank you very much from my heart.
With love and gratitude,
Masaru Emoto
Messenger of Water
2011-03-18
Waves and Waves
One of the readers here has made this observation......'I am struck by your reflections on what I see as two earthquakes. A mammogram is an earthquake...waves just keep coming in and going out...earthquakes happen each and everyday personally and globally." That was a connection I did not make!
Well, I have had a few emails reflecting the writers own confusion about sending Reiki....or their clarity about what they imagine Reiki to do! And it is amazing to see that each of us is awakening to another sense of self. What a sweet process. There is obviously not a clear answer or right answer.....but the stories coming out of Japan are potent for two themes....one is the acceptance of what has happened without blame or making the earth something bad.....and the other is their gratitude for what they have ....rather than what they do not have. A lesson for us all.
I was reading a Buddhist article about attachment to the illusion of control and possession....very interesting in light of this happening int he world.
And, speaking of waves, the mammogram came back "normal." Yeah! I believe when the third one comes...next year, I will be out of the woods. Meantime, I am still losing weight! And gaining on my health. Today I put on pants that I wore two weeks ago and could hardly get them zipped....now they are lose! Great eh?
So I have had a good day .....a day of celebration.
Thanks for being out there and lending your support!
with appreciation,
Phyllis
Well, I have had a few emails reflecting the writers own confusion about sending Reiki....or their clarity about what they imagine Reiki to do! And it is amazing to see that each of us is awakening to another sense of self. What a sweet process. There is obviously not a clear answer or right answer.....but the stories coming out of Japan are potent for two themes....one is the acceptance of what has happened without blame or making the earth something bad.....and the other is their gratitude for what they have ....rather than what they do not have. A lesson for us all.
I was reading a Buddhist article about attachment to the illusion of control and possession....very interesting in light of this happening int he world.
And, speaking of waves, the mammogram came back "normal." Yeah! I believe when the third one comes...next year, I will be out of the woods. Meantime, I am still losing weight! And gaining on my health. Today I put on pants that I wore two weeks ago and could hardly get them zipped....now they are lose! Great eh?
So I have had a good day .....a day of celebration.
Thanks for being out there and lending your support!
with appreciation,
Phyllis
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