Going home

This amazing tree is growing near the Chinese border in the very Southeast corner of Kazachstan. In the second photo ...that's me in the reddish shirt. There were 8 of us around the tree! This tree is said to be 1700 years old....and all the little trees around it grow up in a way to shield the tree from the high winds and other natural forces that could harm the mother tree. The place is a treasure and the energy beneath is sacred ground. I don't know the "name" of the tree but the sap is black and can be drunk as is. It is kind of sweet. The leaves look a bit like elm leaves but grow in another formation on the branches.
The third photo is of three lovely village people who live next to the tree. They are posing for my camera spontaneously! And with such joy. A simple life.

I went home thinking of this simple life.....and then a Reiki colleague sent me a lovely book....called " A different kind of Luxury" by Andy Couturier

This book has touched a cord in me that runs deeply through all of my life. A longing to have every little moment in life be a thoughtful one. This life is not easy and does not have all the "labor saving" devices in it. The value is back to personally touching the necessities of life and knowing that what I have in the moment is all I need and desire.

Tonight I am leaving the islands and going home to Arizona. As I pack...with all the things that I carry with me "just in case!" I realize that I am far from a simple life. My question is.....Is this kind of life possible? What will it take to leave the mountain of necessary things from this world of material luxury and find another kind of luxury......time.

The tree, the ocean, the mountains of Hawaii, remind me that happiness is often housed in the simplicity of the moment.

I believe that this is my prayer for this next year....and for the remainder of my life.

It will take courage and willingness to value who I am without all the trappings of the modern world. Is this possible? I will see!

Aloha! Phyllis

Where does time go?

Me.....in the Maui sun!

I thought I was going to be talking with you every week for a while. Now it has almost been another month..well, okay, I have been on vacation. Not just a pretend vacation where I actually spend three or four hours on the computer a day...but a real vacation! It seems as though I was exhausted from my travels to Almaty and to Hawaii ....all the people I talk to over the internet and in person. So the 10 days I really had as down time were well spent.

Now some of you would not count this as a true holiday. My German friend used to tell me that one needs three weeks to really have a holiday. One week for just winding down from stress. Another week getting used to doing nothing...which means you don't really do nothing. And then the last week....finally you are on holiday! Seems like a good recipe! So I have just taken a baby step in holiday making. But I am proud of it!

I got back in touch with the ocean and snorkeling. This was fun and really satisfying. For the last years I have been a little scared of being in the sun and being in the water....I felt weak and not up to the surf. But this last week, I had a wonderful time snorkeling in some fairly rough waters. We went out on the Trilogy which is a large sailing catamaran. We went two places to snorkel....Molikini Crater and Turtle Town. We ended up seeing whales, Spinner Dolphins and Turtles....as well as numerous fish...including NEMO!

This time was a good experience of feeling the difference of last year when I was on Maui and this year. I am so much more confident and clear. So there is improvement happening!

I have been spending time on the computer trying to get the new website written so we can launch it soon...I will let you know! And putting the finishing organizational touches on the 2012 schedule for Paul and me. My schedule is busier this coming year and more stimulating. I will be in the UK for a couple of events and will be going on an extended tour of South America in the latter part of the year. This is exciting and some what daunting. I need to include those pesky rest days...meaning that the trips will be longer than usual and doing less. Hmmm. And I am happy to have the Kenyon Ranch so close to home for those events that will be scheduled for those weeks at home.

When the schedule is finished.....or ready to be seen, I will post it here for you all.

Well, time has slipped by again and it is time for me to get ready for a dinner out with some friends in Honolulu. I am staying on Oahu to do a weekend retreat here on the north shore.....and to see old Reiki friends and be in touch with the city in which I most connect to my grandmother. There is a sweet longing to turn back the hands of time.....and ask her all those questions I have had over the years. I will let you know if she answers me!

Aloha! Phyllis

State of Health

First off, my health. In the last months I feel I have been experimenting in "being well." I have found this experiment to be stressful. I didn't know this until this week! Now I am sitting here a little disillusioned about my naturopath and wondering how I can find my way through this puzzling landscape. This all has just come to me in the last 24 hours.

To recap, after the surgery in August 2009, in theory I did not have cancer because it was taken out. The odd thing about this....is that in my mind I had cancer....whether it was in me physically. And there was a good degree of uncertainty about this state of not having cancer therefore the chemo and the radiation. At the point of starting the hormone therapy, my body baulked and I went to the naturopath. Since July or August of 2010, I have been on this regime of supplements and vitamins. These have proven by his standards to be effective.

the question now is .....do I still have cancer? A more accurate question is .....Does my body/mind still have the patterning of cancer? I find this to be so present lately.

What brought this on? While I was on my trip to Almaty....I realized that I missed the daily reiki treatments and the palpable stream of distant Reiki that I felt coming to me over the first 8 months of my treatment time.....since then, in increments, the stream has lessened. I am not complaining...for I totally understand that there are others who are more critical and in need of attention. Also the question, how long shall I keep sending Reiki? Do I need to have cancer or a unwell state of mind to continue receiving energy, including the flow of financial energy?

When will I have returned to health?

On one hand I feel I am healthier than before. I am more aware of my body's limitations and listen more to its rhythms. I am willing to spend money and time to care for my body...to treat it with consciousness. This feels like a healing.

And the other hand wonders when I will be out of the woods energetically of cancer? Will there be a time when I will wake up without a thought of cancer during my day. This does not feel like fear, but more an awareness that the event was not far off in the past and the potential of a visit is still lingering. Thus the hormone treatment. Does the treatment keep this going or is it real. I have started to hold this question with great curiosity.

This experience is still changing me. It has not gone back into the store cupboard of things that might happen. The cloud of cancer mind is still around.....and the healing or bringing to wholeness of this part of my being is still going on. Do I have cancer? Am I still under treatment? Am I healthy? All these questions that are frequently asked of me elicit different responses but touch the place in me of uncertainty.

I suspect that this is a good place to be....at least to realize that disease and conditions do not just go away because the physical body has been changed to be in a non tumor state. A potent experience of mind/body ad spirit healing. And I am not quite there yet! A sober thought and a good one. So the next step is to have compassion for myself, take conscious care, and be aware of the healing that is continuing.

with humbleness! Phyllis

Back again!

Dear Readers, After all these months, I am finally sitting down to write. So much has happened in the last 6 months that I will make this a series of writings. I know it sounds trite when I say that I have been thinking of you...meaning to write....and not doing it. My guess is that I have been in another phase of my life.....trying to get back to "normal" and finding out in the last weeks that there is no normal.....and that I need to write. I am glad you are out there listening/reading!

Hopefully you have not completely despaired and given up on this blog. Obviously the topic is more me and not so much about my health...though this is always with me these days. More on this later.

In brief, I have spent much of my energy in the last year on the Reiki Home Project. You can read more about this on www.reikihome.org. It is a growing project and I hope you will find your place of contribution and commitment to this. This is where Reiki is leading me these days....despite my own retraining forces!

I just returned home from a 7 week rip to Almaty Kazkhstan...with a stop over in London coming and going. The trip was great and I am in my third day of recovery at home. I am amazed at how much time it takes to recover!

And I have put my little villa up for rent this year.....so it can earn a little money and I have the funds to keep it up in the way I would like. It is an exciting passage, as for the last two years, it has been there for visitors who have come to give me Reiki and care for me. Now I am in another phase....finding out that the Reiki is still important in my daily care and that I am glad I don't need to have people come and care for me. This experience taught me so much.

Well, I have broken the ice.....in other words...I have started writing again. I will be back with you again soon. Thank you for all of your emails encouraging me to write!

with gratitude,

Phyllis

Latest News

It has been a while since I have written. So many things are happening. I had three visits to different doctors and my health is gaining. I am still taking the natural hormone suppressants and the blood work said that my estrogen is rising a bit. This is on the edge and so my Nathropath has increased the Myomin dosage which has been okay....no side effects. I am to have another blood test at the end of the month to check to see if this is making a difference. I realized that I had also become a bit lazy with one of the supplements, not taking it everyday....so now I have a different system which is working! Good!

Also my physical energy seems to be coming back and I am very happy about this. This will help with losing my weight. I have lost some but now am at another plateau where physical movement will hopefully push me into another ten pounds off! I am going for 30 more pounds! This is such uphill work and I have to keep trusting, receiving treatments, and having a good attitude towards myself.

The work I have been doing for the last 7 months has come to a turning point! The Prospectus which puts out the Reiki Home and the Kenyon Ranch Retreat has been published on line~It will be in 8 languages. English, German, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Russian, Italian, and Dutch. We have opened our hearts and vision to the world community. It is a bit scary but also exciting! Seems like the same energy feeling but with different future images. So I will trust in the work that this international group of Reiki students have created and in the timing of it all. Some think that this is a bad time to be collecting contributions. Maybe. I feel that this is the time of the community and we are ready to give support to the system and to Reiki for the gifts received. There are so many! And I am in this place of knowing that this is the only thing I am to do right now. It is a strange feeling and sometimes challenging.

The interesting experience is that is is similar to the feeling I had two years ago when embarking on the cancer treatment....that this was what I needed to give myself to....with all my attention and love. And so I did.

How many times is thank you not enough.....or said to let you know that I am grateful for the difference in my life that you have made! An awkward way to put this but in the proper order for me! This March some Russian students came and gave me gifts. They said in Russian, "May the hands of the giver always be full." This touched my heart and soul.

I feel that this is my posture when I think of this Reiki Home and my own participation in it. May my hands always be full as a give! I so appreciate this Reiki practice as my hands always feel full. I am training my mind to pay attention and notice this feeling so I do not fall into fear and doubt. Such a simple way of being full.

with all my gratitude for your full hands.

Phyllis

Spiritual Homeland

what is a spiritual homeland? I have been using this phrase to describe how I feel about the northern part of New Mexico. This last week I had five days there and had this experience again. I suppose it means this is where my spirit feels at home. The sensations are deep and in resonance within me. What I have found out is that I don't need to live there to access it. For this I need courage and willingness to accept the present and trust the nature of the path.

The first photo from the bottom up is of the mountain "pedernal." This mountain is dark and strong because it is made of flint while all the other land around it is limestone and sandstone (see the second photo). The path is long and beckons me....though I don't know where I am going or the goal that maybe out there. The nature of the path is what I love and is where I find my courage.

The programs on the radio show about service seems to have awakened some kind of service process inside of me. I am getting 350-600 spam messages a day with the word service in different languages at the beginning.....servico@..... ect. It is an odd thing. And I feel that until I have a true insight, these spam messages will continue! This is also messing with the emails that come into this inbox and I trust that I have retrieved all of them.

A friend in Santa Fe and I were speaking of service. He said that service is done not to fulfill a need, but to give from the heart. This also was a piece of the puzzle that I needed. I am processing this in relationship to the Japan question! Why does this haunt me so!? Then I realize the situation is a great lesson. I must stay quiet and open in order to receive the message.

I am in days of rest from my journey and integrating the substance of what I have received in traveling my spiritual homeland.

Phyllis

more about water

Hello from the desert! The news is still with Japan and there are many people who are sharing their lives and resources with those in Japan. This is beautiful. And I am still with the water. Kathy Araki sent me this Youtube link...it is a film of the tidal wave that came into Sendai. All I could think about is the power of water.....only water seeking its natural boundary! What amazing things it can do just by being itself! There is no emotional anger, violence, or revenge. It is simply water. Now, more than ever, I am getting into the place of Ho'oponopono or forgiveness with the water. In my last radio show with Maureen OShaunnessy from Hawaii...we spoke of the events in Japan and working with the water.

The best thing I can do, I believe is to take back my projections of my own fear, wish for control, and unwillingness to live as a natural part of our earth which may have gone to the water, to the earthquake, and to the uncertainty of life itself.

This five minute film is great for dong ceremony and healing with water. http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=c3rqPPJPwLg

Join you in the water! Phyllis